Finding Mr. or Ms. Right: Part Two: Being Social

A Three Part Series:

If you have read part one you have begun the process of facing your "not okay" loneliness. You have realized that being alone is not the same as being lonely. You have begun to appreciate that your loneliness is a product of your fears and beliefs about who you are afraid you are, your fear about how others perceive you and how you are afraid your life will be. You are ready to go out into the world and discover new truths...So let's begin!

You are surrounded by people. You are surrounded by interesting, frantic, insecure, funny, playful, people. So, go out and be interested. Go 'alone' in your own company, as if you have just landed in a far off place and can't wait to see the people and sights and sounds of your new surroundings. Feel your feelings and notice how you allow others to see them or not. Notice how they hide and who is behind the masks as you engage in simple interactions. Notice if you are ready to be approached or if you are ready to approach. Allow yourself the right to be exactly as you are, comfortable, embarrassed, smooth or awkward. Expect nothing and give whatever it is you have to share. (And be surprised at what that may be!) Be a witness to your own experience of being 'not alone' in the company of strangers.

When you have done this a half dozen times, or so, take some stock. How was it? Who is out there in your world? What judgements remain both about you and about 'them'? What are the barriers for you still to release? And most of all, are you enjoying yourself? If not, go do it again ten more times, but this time let yourself enjoy being YOU.

If you are working with a Life Coach you will share these thoughts with them. If you have friends you confide in...then do! When you are ready, join your friends and acquaintances in activities that interest you or challenge you and begin to allow yourself to be part of your community. Look to see what allows others to connect and what stops them. Notice when you stifle your self expression and comment on that to whomever will listen. Notice what others need and what you bring to the table and share your bounty whenever it is your time. When you absolutely have nothing to say; be amazed and say that..."I have nothing to say or add and it can only be because of how afraid I am to share." Watch as others share with you when that happens for them. Discover that your 'condition' is the human condition and we all can relate. Begin to find your rhythm in social interaction and before your eyes you will begin to create intimacy.

Intimacy will be the third installment of this post. So, socialize with anyone and everyone in your world and discover YOU in the bustle of everyone frantically trying to connect...Expect nothing, give of yourself and accept whatever you wish...Love the ones you're with...it's the best within us...I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry

Thought for Today...The fantasy that we are alone is a fiction created by our fear to keep us from being hurt. Human beings are social animals we need each other to thrive...Your story just exactly like it is...is precious and valuable and important for us to know.

An Action to Take: Today's post was all about actions to take, but the most important one is the next one you take after you complete reading this. Close your computer go outside and notice all the possibilities to interact; walk to the park, talk to a neighbor, buy something small, give someone directions who seems lost, etc., etc., etc. Go see that you are not alone!