Coping...and the Auto/Protector Self

Coping, what is coping? we all do it. We all talk about it, "How'ya doin'?" We ask.
"Oh, I'm coping." is often the reply; and it's true, we are.
Coping is what we do when triggered by life events. We cope with the death of a loved one. We cope with the kids, or we cope with our job, parents, illness, or setbacks. We cope all the time; but what is coping?

I've used coping in these posts several times and I mean pretty much what you do when you use it...I mean gettin' on, gettin' on...survivin'. Coping is what we do to survive the dings, and dents of life; but coping is actually more than that. Coping is the tool of our survival, fight/flight/freeze, conscious, mind. Coping is the activity of a triggered and driven individual using the auto/protector part of their consciousness.

The auto/protector self is part of the Core Paradigm I describe in my book, Life after Survival: Consciously Evolving our Consciousness. It is important for us to know and understand that coping is actually driven by a part of our mind that is used when we are faced with fear, pain or loss. Coping is surviving and while that is a good thing it is not a happy thing or satisfying thing. Coping is struggling and interestingly enough coping is the human version of fight or flight.

You should take a little time to read the book, but in a nutshell, coping is what we do in situations that coping just isn't going to work. In the big picture, humans coped with survival in the wild. We had to have a reflexive, reactive portion of our mind that could drive us to use our cunning and reactions to save our lives. As we got more domesticated we continued to use this level of self consciousness (an alternative self) to address the problems we faced in our increasingly complex society...that's where all the problems got complicated.

Just imagine trying to solve your problems by running away or beating them up...oops, you don't have to imagine it, it's what we do. We procrastinate, complain, bully, get anxious or depressed, stubbornly persist in self defeating behaviors, or yell and scream; all in the name of coping. You can create a list of your coping and you will be amazed at how much of it is just modified fight or flight.

Coping with life is surviving life, but not living life. We need to come down from our coping personae if we are to solve almost all of the problems we face as an individual in our present society. Coping with our problems will not solve them. Facing our coping and triggered consciousness is the first step to overcoming the chronic issues we face in life. Get a Life Coach and uncover how coping is running (ruining) your life.

Learn to distinguish when you are coping and live better...love the ones you're with, it's the way to go...I remain. Respectfully Yours, Larry

Thought for the Day...We cope because our auto/protector self says we must...but life only really begins when we lay the weapons of coping down and share our hearts.

An Action to Take...look for triggers and coping in your life and write some of them down until you notice the commonality of the triggers and coping you do in just about any setting you find yourself. Learn to be self revealing about what triggers you and how you cope; and take responsibility that they are your triggers and your coping mechanisms.