Be, Do, Have

You know, human beings have two very distinct operating systems. History has been full of references to this phenomenon, mind/body dichotomy, good and evil, heaven and hell...but it is far more personal than that. Each of us, individually, have two very distinct operating systems; and it really is what makes our world go round....

...the second operating system we might call grazing...it is an amazingly unique system developed only after we grew some very large frontal lobes...the Neo-cortex is its home...this operating system allows us to be human beings...it generates our curiosity, imagination, creativity, and allows us to be compassionate, kind, thoughtful, giving, co-operative even when it doesn't serve some personal need...and loving...this operating system allows us to listen, without forming a counter opinion, be concerned for others even when we are being berated by them, be willing to sacrifice gain today for the good of tomorrow, form consensus and experience fulfillment in service...it allows us to turn the other cheek...it is an amazing advance of consciousness unseen in a world before Homo, Sapiens, Sapiens...we've all experienced this operating system...we know its true...we've seen it in operation and been its author....

...then there is the first operating system, its home is the Amygdala and core brain...it has access to most of mental capacities of Homo, Sapiens and it is probably best described as your survival system...it has one of the most sophisticated fight, flight, freeze mechanisms in the world and it is capable of amazing feats of physical and mental manipulations that allow us to be the most adaptable species on the planet...It has fantastic tool making capacity, cunning, deception, misdirection, and insight into the workings of things...it is a human doing at an incredible pace...it sees things in black and white, good or bad, in or out; and you couldn't have a better ally in a fox hole...it is your best defense because it can create a defense for just about anything...none of us would even be here without it....

The operating systems are hierarchical, if survival SEEMS to be at stake you will be using your survival operating system...and when things are safe enough you will have access to your gazing system...I call these two systems the auto/protector self and the Authentic Self...but that's probably wrong, because it makes one seem better than the other...and they are not...each has its place and that is the point of this blog....

When things are really dangerous to life, it is a good idea to use your auto/protector operating system...But, and here's the rub, most of the time, in today's world, things are safe, but the auto/protector is the system we use to determine whether it's safe or not...and invariably it's answer is (just to be on the safe side) NO...it leads us to determine that that new group is dangerous, or these circumstances are risky, or supporting our opponent is wrong, or that stocking up for our side is best, that other's ideas are dangerous and strong defenses are never strong enough...it sees the boogie man in every corner and it makes it damn hard for any of us to find our other operating system....

We have two operating systems and too few of us, too little of the time, use both in a balanced way...when 9-11 happened I wanted to nuke everybody involved, or supportive of it...("auto/Protector")...that never can work, never will work...doesn't matter, I wanted to do it anyway...and that's the thing about our two systems, one of them could make things a lot better for all of us, and one of them only wants to make it better for ME...Obama may not be your cup of tea, but we could make him the best president ever if we chose...yes, if he wanted to start another war, we might have to think twice about that, but we can help anyone be better by being better ourselves....

If you could use your Authentic Self system...it would easily see that sacrifice of the immediate gain was a good thing, it would give whoever is president a helpful hand and pose concerns as thoughtful possibilities, but it is seldom allowed to play in today's world, because we all think survival is more important than living...maybe it is, I don't know...but it's not what I'm hoping for...what I'm hoping for is that you will stop and look and think...is this my grazing self or my protective self (and maybe, "is that their protective self or thoughtful self) maybe even review the above definitions to help you decide if the people you listen to deserve your adherence/agreement (auto/protector), or compassion/thoughtful understanding of their being in survival (Authentic Self)...it's actually easy to spot survival, when you let go of survival...and then asked, "If I don't declare it safe...then who..." This is not about who is right or wrong it is about who is willing to use their Authentic operating system when everything and everyone else is telling them not to...turn the other cheek, give up today's gain for tomorrow's promise, help someone other than yourself by knowing that truly is in service to you, wake up from the nightmare of bully pulpits, greed, (self possession/absorption/aggrandizement), need, and fear...be a light, no matter how small or dim, that welcomes all who need your love...give freely of yourself and do so especially when you don't think you can...this is not about, 'US or THEM'...we are all US...THERE IS NO THEM...I know you are doing a grand job of this, but it helps me to say these things, so that at least I am reminded...love the ones you're with and those who may come to view, cry freely, be generous, gentle and in love with the possibilities...give grace to those you disagree with and enjoy...until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry





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Hope is not your friend...(unless she is...)

We're all about HOPE, aren't we...as well we should be...hope, sometimes seems to be all we have and without it one can only imagine the despair waiting to claim so many of our lives...I hope you feel better; or I hope I feel better; I hope the economy improves, or your trip goes well, or your dreams come true...or mine do...We hope all the time...and it seems we would be lost without it...and that's just what THEY are counting on....

My wife saw a story recently about a woman who really wanted to develop cosmetics that would be great for a person's skin and make a difference, so she went to work for a cosmetic company that touted the quality of their product..on her first day of work she was pulled aside and told, "The first thing you have to understand is, forget what's in the bottle, we are selling hope..." hope is what sells, not product...she quit the next day...most of us can't afford to quit when we discover our employers are stretching the truth or asking us to do things that we know are wrong...we hope it will get better or they will see the light...but we have bills to pay....

...at Ford, "Quality is job one"...this ad ran when Ford was near the bottom of the heap in manufacturing a quality product...J D Powers has refined the process of, "...becoming intimately familiar with consumer decision-making habits and perceptions..." and your perceptions and habits are intricately tied to your hopes....

I hope you are having a good day...but much more to the point, I hope (perhaps pray that) you will stop hoping, take a breath, have a good stretch (yoga is wonderful) and look...be present...you are alive and are faced with whatever conditions you are faced with...they will pass in time whether you do something about it or not, but not necessarily to your betterment...hoping will not make it better...but being present to it may allow you to discover what will...ignore the hype as best you can, seek solace in peace, harmony, and goodwill...help those you can, including yourself, cry freely when you can't, seek warmth when you are cold and cool streams when it is warm...be available to witness life (no need for hope); and with as much courage as possible...tell the truth...learn to play (even with the silly hype), don't take things too seriously, be gentle and as happy as you can be, given the circumstances...but never forget...this too shall pass and in the fullness of time it is only your love that will make a difference, not your hope, for the good in all of us is our being...and when your actions come from being-ness you won't need to hope for the best...you will be the best and are the best...until next time...I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry



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Who is Important?

You know who's important...you see them in the paper, Paris, Brittney, Lindsey...Or maybe Clinton, or Bush...maybe Rush, or O'Reilly...Obama??? not so much...but BP, yep, and don't forget AIG they're too big to fail...Lots and lots of important folks...Tiger, and any news maker of the day...Important....

Everybody with a platform is important...oooooouuu...this is my platform...I must be important...Not so much...too small...too, too, too...nothing...but B of A is important, and everyone speaking on behalf of a country is important...or are they???

You know, it may seem incredibly impossible but you are important, far more important that everyone listed so far...in a world of human beings, you are doing well in the "being" part of that equation...the world of human doings??? maybe not so much...but the human doings right now are not "doing" such a bang up job....

Ever stop to think that amassing a few billion dollars like Billy Gates is not such a grand thing...when the Pharaohs got a few hundred thousand of us to build their coffin...did that make them important...history thinks so...and therefore, too often, so do we...but the Pharaohs were part of the problem not part of the solution...and so are almost all of the important people the media write about today...

Mel Gibson is not important, the stockholders are not important, any government official...is definitely not important...the only people who are important are the people who don't think so and are willing to do whatever it takes to make things better for everyone else....

We live in a village, a small village on a little round ball hurtling madly through space...we are one people and one group, with each individual having the same needs (needs are things that, without them, you would die, or be severely restricted) and mostly the same wants...sure some want red cars and some want green and some want no cars at all, but wants are only relevant when we make sure everyone gets what they need...If our leaders are focused on that...well done...if not...then 'we'...the important ones, need to stand up and point out who isn't getting what they need....

I'll bet you are doing a good job of that, but few listen and even fewer act...the privileged of this world want their life back too...and everyone of them is very busy pretending that working overtime to keep "what is theirs and yours" and "getting more for me not us," is the order of the day...It isn't, but that seems to go unheard...Wells Fargo just said that the customers want them to structure the overdrafts in such a way that they make another 1.4 billion dollars...is that what you told them???, because I didn't...I don't want them taking twice what is owed...and I'm just going to take a wild guess that you don't either...Years ago when Maxwell House quietly reduced the pound of coffee to twelve ounces without changing the can size, they said it was in response to what their customers wanted???? To pay more for less and not be told about it???? really???

We are in the age of rationalization...you know...that thing we all do when we don't want reality to intrude...the world could certainly use a few of us to point out when big business and government rationalize their behavior in order to protect themselves at your expense...and believe me fox news isn't one of these or msnbc...Pundits almost never come from the heart....

I know...no use fighting city hall...and yet...what else we got to do, anyway...Oh yeah, live our life...well good idea...live away, but once in a while when someone tells you that you want to pay them an obscene profit for health care, or pay more for less, or ignore how they are gouging or cheating you, speak up...and speak out, anyway you can...it's not so hard, be careful, though, it's never about institutions, it's only about YOU, the real you, the one who knows that the golden rule really is the way to live...YOU are the important one, because YOU knows that everyone is on this ride together...if it's really good for YOU, it will really be good for everyone; and if it isn't, then it isn't ...no more rationalizations...is it in service, or not...is it something you would want done to and for your mother, or not...is it decent, by any definition or not...and most of all, do you have any clue what is your fair share???

It ain't 200 million dollars, or 9 million dollar bonuses...let's get everyone with more than 15 million dollars together and have them live and work in the Sudan...bet it wouldn't take long for that mess to stop....

Well, rant is over...gotta get back to smilin' and seein' what is needed; and tryin' my best to be even one half as good as the rest of you...I love you guys, those who read this, and you've always been a step or two ahead...so, love the ones you're with, cry when you need to, be well, live with peace, go gently into your lives and celebrate the little things...until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry




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Breakdown before Breakthru

I wanted to be good...to do well...to be successful...and sometimes I was, but sometimes, when I most wanted it...I wasn't...and then...I pushed. Seems like we all struggle sometimes, if not with career, then with relationships, or parenting, or self image...sometimes we have daemons, or phobias, or personality quirks that we deem, (or THEY deem) unacceptable, and we want to change...I sometimes fail to live up to what I think is acceptable behavior and then...(wait for it)...I fail again....

That's when I go into overdrive...I will fix this...problem, flaw, failure, wrongness...and lo and behold...I don't.... Maybe it's different for you, I don't know, but my experience tells me most of us have some quirks or issues that seem to resist our best efforts to correct...that's when, after exhaustive struggle I quit, or my body quits and my mind fails and I go into complete breakdown...that happened the other day, (not that that is all that unusual) and once again I was reminded that there is often no progress until real and total failure occurs....

I lose my way and seem to only find it when I quit trying to find it...If you look at it for a moment it seems clear...you can't really lose your way, you are your way, pretending to not know who and what you are, simply requires you to quit pretending...for me that means breakdown, collapse, letting go, crying...accepting at the most profound level of acceptance...mostly we (our auto/protector) doesn't want to do that (stop, that is)...DOING demands that we act...fix...make better; not stop and be...but stop and be is what it's really all about and I was reminded of this and now I am reminding you...(Maybe only so I will get it).

Be well, cry when you need to, slay as many dragons as you please, but when they get too much, stop, pray in anyway you see fit, that allows you total surrender and trust...trust that you are love, and joy, and peace and well being, because you are...be the center of your universe...witness the passings and miracle of being sentient; love the ones you're with and until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry




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Paradox, Uncertainty and contradiction: The Road to Wisdom

I was about twenty when I read that, "...being comfortable with paradox was the sign of wisdom...." I immediately recognized it as true, in the way a person does deep in their soul, because, along with it I knew, in exactly that same way, I had no tolerance, at all, for paradox.... I wanted answers...things are either right or wrong, good or bad, up or down...not both, or either or neither...I wanted to do good and vanquish the bad and reality kept slipping me a 'mickey'...but no matter how I tried to resist it...paradox, was and is the way to wisdom....

The truth of that can not be more obvious for most of us as we travel through the maze of our daily lives...'one size fits all' health care is a boondoggle...'one size fits all' financial practices, either with credit or banking, or the economy at large, plagues us...and trying to decide how to traverse the personal issues of our relationships; spouses, kids, bosses, co-workers, BFF's; and including our relationship with the earth, is ...full of...filled...with adversarial dynamics...we often fall into the trap of living our nightmares and calling it life; and yet, seeking counsel often seems hopeless....

We do our best...sometimes we speak up sometimes we shut up...often neither position makes us really happy and that is the point...learning to be at peace with choices, that at best may be imperfect, is hard...learning to tell the difference between not saying something because you're too worried about how it will come off and not saying something because in your best estimate it is the kind, compassionate and loving way...can be tricky under the best circumstances and way over the top when you are triggered by life's challenges...do seek out life coaches and know at the same time it is an act of wisdom to discover how to both use and discard their support....

For myself I can't survive without checking in with my guides when life gets too full of distress...and each time, what they help me do, is take a moment to step back and ask myself how sure am I, that what I'm thinking is, either 'really right', or 'really wrong'...and if the answer is I'm certain...I stop, back off, relax and look for the ambiguity...and then only after I see the paradox, the possibility of both sides being either right, or wrong, do I act...with the complete assurance that I don't really know and that I hope my choice is guided with compassion, and appreciation, and respect, for the struggles others who may oppose me are faced with...I strive to 'choose' instead of 'decide' and I strive to give the devil her due (can't always be a guy)....

Be well, live with passion, cry freely, laugh a lot, love the ones you're with and the ones you're not, when in doubt, wonder just a little if you've been blessed with a moment of true wisdom; and never forget to discover your compassion for each child who travels this path with you...until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry








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Goals and Intentions

Good morning...(see that was my intention)...to wish each and every one of you a good morning...(unstoppable, this intention thing)...for me this morning, a little overcast, very quiet...still...except for the bunny slowly hopping about, outside my front window...it seems exquisite to me...and I so want to share that with you...good morning...I want to share...(an intention)...also, I want to share with 'everyone' who is needing a little cheering up...(a goal...most stoppable)...I wish I could share this with everyone who needed to hear it...(a goal and intention all mished together)...I do wish that, and what is within my grasp is to wish you, whoever chooses to read this...a good morning...I will certainly find some other avenues, as well, today, because that is my intention...but I may not reach everyone, not bad, but short of the goal....

Sometimes when we have grand intentions they come with goals...I do that endlessly...the intention is within our grasp and the goal is something yet to be achieved...not so bad...sometimes...and devastating other times...having goals can be a two edged sword...It can lead to great achievements, or it can become the feeding ground that can turn lovely intentions into driven and hopeless needs, fristrations, upsets....

I have an intention and a goal, to reach everyone who needs it, whether they know it or not, with the message of the Core Paradigm...I think it may be best if I simply leave it as an intention...the Core Paradigm is simple, human beings become human doings when they get triggered by life...a trigger is anything in someones life that 'they perceive' as dangerous, painful or creating loss...in other words most everything in life....

Human Doings are driven by the human version of fight/flight/freeze...they are reactive, self possessed, driven, determined, dynamos of capitalism, and just about every human excess can be laid at their feet...some of these things seem good, others, not so good...Human Doings have goals and are often, very good at getting them, others, not so good...Human Doings are "either/or" kinda people, you either with'em or agin'em...seems like they make the world go round...and yes, mostly that's true....

Human Beings, emerge when it is safe enough for us, any of us, to take the time to smell the flowers...Human Beings, have intentions...they are curious, compassionate, kind, loving and generous...they look for ways for everyone in the village to share what resources are available...they give of themselves and support others to do the same...their intentions are unlimited and they're the people we gravitate to when we stop being our own human doing...as you might suspect, Human Beings and Human Doings are one in the same people...they are US....

I want people to know, that the driven nature of life is the fight/flight/freeze nature of Human Beings...I don't want to make it wrong...it's not...I want people to know that at times it can be excessive and unproductive and turn to greed and other misguided behavior...it is what leads many into depression, anxiety, frustration, rage and self loathing...I want them to know it is not an issue of mental health, but an issue of being afraid too much of the time...and I want to share that with everybody...in the hope and promise, that this knowledge can and will bring more sanity to our human interaction....

...any time a human doing returns to a Human Being, you can bet the dialogue will improve...Human Beings will solve the Palestinian thing, human doings will continue to hold their ground...Human Beings will stop focusing on greed and begin to serve the public, with whatever endeavor they are engaged in...human doings will bleed it dry...I want everyone to know it doesn't have to be this way, and they don't have to be in so much pain...but I guess that ain't goin' to happen.

...so I want to share it with you and whomever you see fit to share it with...that is what this blog is all about...to bring the message of the Core Paradigm to as many people who will have it...It has helped me, it has helped my family, it has helped my clients and perhaps has helped you as you have read these pages...I'm afraid, often, that this is not enough, it isn't good enough, but it is....

We, all of us, see the effects of too much Human Doings going on in the world...Human beings, don't have trouble getting along with each other, Human doings, do...human beings don't turn their nests (Places where they and others live and frolic) into gooey messes, Human Doings, do...Human Beings don't need to live on the brink of annihilation...apparently, Human Doings, do....

Remember, you are first and foremost, a human being, yes, you can be a human doing and you will be from time to time, but stop, look, and listen, go gently into your day, be well, trust yourself, love the ones you're with (and that includes all of humanity and the other beings of the earth), laugh a lot, don't forget to cry when you need to, share this with whomever needs to hear it (there are some buttons below to do that); and until next time, I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry






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Havin' Things Better

Most of the time, whatever is buggin' you is goin' to get worse...Wow, and this is suppose to be a helpful site?? Yep, and, "Most of the time, whatever is buggin'...," well, you get the idea...It bugs me that I'm gettin' older, that the finance company, who received billions in bailout money, won't let me have the current lower rate for my mortgage, or help in any other 'reasonable way'...that the amount of 'stuff' we've collected over the years is too much to handle as we try to organize and downsize and that my health, while good right now, is on a downward curve....

I woke this morning,knowing I hadn't slept well, struggling to relax, and fighting all the bears in my life and imagination...I'm exhausted...I think, "god, there must be more I can do...no...should do...and I'm not up to it...I'm overwhelmed, exhausted, tired..." and that just makes it worse...There are should's, coulda's, didn't and can't's all over the place, (what I call Parental Directive Language, PDL for short), what's a body to do???

Well, I'll tell ya...writing this all down has helped, finding ways to face it, accept what is and do what I can...whatever that is, letting go of PDL's, helps...and declaring that as enough...that helps...and as much as all the things that bug me may get worse...I don't have to let THAT bug me, I do have a choice, and that choice is focus....

We, all of us, are in charge of our focus...it may not seem that way at times, (certainly doesn't to me), but we are...in charge that is...as I write this my body relaxes, unlike anything I felt all night...I am in charge, I can refocus on what is, acceptance, forgiveness, (even to the evil financial system) and find new vistas to brighten my day and my outlook...I can focus on acceptance instead of judgement, the bunny, which is quietly foraging on the lawn right now, (eating my lawn??? Yikes) and appreciation of all that is working in my life....

...if the things that are bugging you in your life are getting worse, and believe me when I tell you, they probably are, take a moment write them all down, acknowledge that they are only going to get worse...then embrace that and move on...move on to new focuses...your forgiveness, possibilities, choices, and acceptance of the power you do have...no matter what that might be...remember, live in harmony, be gentle with yourself and others, love a lot, laugh even more, cry when you wish, know in your heart what may be the greatest truth...THIS TOO SHALL PASS, declare this blog piece as supportive and helpful, (well, it has been to me) and love the ones you're with, Until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry






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...love is just a word

...and life a fragile shell...walk gently;...live in the moment means nothing until you cry until you can't catch your breath...I listen to the Avett Brothers, "I and Love and You" and cry until I can't catch my breath...only then can I see..."...dumbed down and numbed by time and age;"...talk softly...living in this moment is better when I've cried...I am scared, I talk too loud and feel too little...I'm scared...of what??? nothing...life, hopelessness, a lack of meaning...all of the above...not a bad thing at all--feels like renewal....

Today is another in an endless stream, that I get to be only the most insignificant part of...sometimes that's all right...sometimes not...I want to touch people...help them...lift them up when they fall...hold their hand when the touch makes a difference...sometimes I do...mostly I have hidden away...too afraid to be seen...too afraid that what is to be seen is not nearly enough...it is the legacy of deeply misunderstood intentions...from people too afraid of their own paths...I am sorry they could not feel more of the love we all are entitled to; and to which, I have more than my share...life is grand...especially after a good cry...hiding is grandly overrated...I hope you are filled with love, well being and joy...I know there are days where that is true for me...today???

...today I am filled with the sadness of missed opportunities and visions of cowering in the corner, crying, terrified, hoping...and hope's betrayals; ...mostly just my betrayal of myself...today is a new day and a new opportunity...so, I write...I hope it helps, I fear it won't...who could possibly need such silliness...well if no one else...I do...It helps me and while that seems like it couldn't possibly be enough...I'm going to have to make it do...I've got a lot of work to do to let it be enough...but that is a worthy path...if nothing more than how those about me will benefit...I do know how much it can mean to my family to know that I am well...and feeling good about myself...that is a worthy task and one I hope you travel...if not...get help...without doubt it is waiting for you....

I'll try to remember and I hope you will too, as well...go gently into your day, live in harmony with what is, remember NOW is all any of us have, love a lot, laugh even more, but don't forget to cry, once in awhile until you can't catch your breath...love the ones you're with...and until next time...I love you, Larry







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...and life goes on...

...and aren't we all blessed...Ireland and Spain were amazing...travel is amazing...coming home...not so much...Why? Such a misleading word, "Why", when we say it, it almost invariably sends us directly into our head to find a 'reason'...not 'the' reason, just A reason...a better question is "What"...what is it that is keeping me from relishing my life at home? Well, thanks for asking...having to face my failures, missteps, and shortcomings is sometimes just a bit daunting...ever find that for yourself? Devin (my son) told me that it was impossible to be better than I am (meaning to this point in the NOW) and that if I looked I would see, not only the shortcomings but the blessings of who I am and have been...that my life and struggles don't need to have been different in order for me to be okay; that, yes, I was upset with me, but, if I looked I would see he only saw how much he has learned and been blessed with for being my son....

I could see that and know that my potential is what it is and trying to be something I'm not is trying to do the impossible...Now, this can be quite confusing, we can certainly try to do better next time, or try to improve our behavior, or try to live better, cleaner, smarter, but we can't be more than we actually are, today, TODAY... if it is different tomorrow that's another story, but it will include, including all the limitations that have brought us to today...Ah, being here, now, isn't such a bad thing....

Does that mean I will always be limited? Yes and no...any specific limitation may be moderated or sometimes expunged, and striving to learn and grow can be lovely, but today...TODAY...NOW, we are exactly as we are, no better or worse, and acceptance is the order of the day. I look at my life and my failings and I want them to be better...not better tomorrow, or the next day, better now, or yesterday...and trust me when I tell you...THAT AIN'T GOIN' TO HAPPEN...when I stop bemoaning the past, take stock of both my failings and my accomplishments, I find that life isn't so bad...in fact it's grand...that was the lesson Devin gave me when I was in Ireland and it is the one I am relearning as I write this...today, right here IN THIS MOMENT is grand...I am as good as I am and as bad, and things are as they are, I'm afraid at times, in love most of the time, and when I'm willing to admit it, excited about tomorrow (I hope you are too!)...I do wish I would take my own advice once in awhile...but then, where's the fun in that....

Remember, live well, love a lot, seek the support you need to flourish and love the ones you're with...until next time, I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry






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From Ireland with love...

...nothin' like travel to give you a little perspective...or maybe it only gives me a little...you may have it all together, but I'm not even close...today is a grand Irish day, a bit o mist and a beautiful view...that wasn't so when I arrived...when I arrived I was physically not okay...I had, for the first time in my life walked off a golf course on the third hole...out of breath, dizzy, slight nausea...wondering what was goin' on with me...and equally determined to ignore it...nothing better than denial is my policy...I huffed and puffed around, sometimes feelin' a bit better, but never far from feeling something seriously was wrong that I was determined to ignore...at 65 with a history of stroke, cancer, brain tumor and other assorted ills it seemed like the thing to do....

So, off to Ireland and a fine visit with youngest son who had a few weeks to hang with his parents...we didn't really have the money or the time, life was a bit in turmoil and definitely not a good time to run off...so run off we did...and, of course, when we got there I felt worse...had trouble climbing the stairs, thought I'd pass out tryin' to hit a golf ball at the driving range in preparation for a game the next day and finally I had to come clean..."Devin (my son) there's something wrong with me, I don't know if I'm havin' heart problems or I'm just stressed out of my mind, but I almost had to sit down after the first swing at the range."

Gee, Dad, we should find out...what's goin' on?"

So, I told him and in the process found out what a marvelous Life Coach he was...he told me many of the things I tell my clients and in the end...with many tears...I released the pain and suffering I was living with, apologized to him my wife, the world in general and recovered my life...Oh, did I mention how incredibly debilitating stress can be? If not consider yourself warned...stress is a killer and so is denial...you can't always solve your distress, sometimes you need a trusting hand to get you through it...I recommend my son...he is spectacularly good, but then he has no interest in being a Life Coach...I do, however, and if you or someone you know is struggling to be free, upbeat, happy and fulfilled, tell them to get help, and if they don't know who to use send them to me...Internet works, phone or email...don't live with stress...it isn't worth it....

Amazing how easy it is to walk and run, to play golf, up and down the hills, to cherish the day, the sunset, the late night after a pint of Guinness--when you're not choking on your own anxiety/depression...and no matter how good you are, you can't always be good for yourself...Devin cured me, by being the placeholder I needed...not forever, but for NOW, and NOW is a grand place to live...remember, love the ones you're with, cherish yourself, your life, and those who need to be reminded of who they really are, go gentle into your day...until next time, I remain, Respectfully yours, Larry


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Good Morning...and other silly nonsense....

I hope it's good...but good or not, it is morning...Judgements for human beings can be incredibly useful..."Is this good water?"...if not it may kill you...but judgements, too often today are the tethers that bind us to our fears and keep us from living large in our lives....Learning the difference between survival and living is really, learning the difference between acting from fear and choosing possibilities...between nightmares and reality....

Today, I awoke from a nightmare...driven by all the things that could go wrong, or might go wrong, or were inevitably set to go wrong, I saw the possibilities and judged them 'BAD'...and I was terrified...who, in their right mind could even imagine having a chance against such odds...and then, I awoke and 'voila', a grand morning...I chose to judge the morning 'good', grand, if you like...and as I sat down to write this my wife said how bad a night she had spent...full of anxiety...riddled with fear...and that became the basis of our morning conversation... wow, what an opportunity to choose, let the fear run (spelled 'ruin') our lives or face the insecurity, angst, and judgments we make that trap us and leave us unable to sing....

We chose to sing...we chose to embrace the fear and each other and emerge from the nightmare...oddly knowing how grand it is to finally stop and face the boogie man...the nightmare doesn't end with the cessation of sleep, it only ends when you choose to awaken to your own strength and will..."We will run no further, do your worst you old boogieman"...and he limped away chastened by the courage of the vulnerability...will you chose to face your bogeymen...I hope so...You can spot them by taking less than a minute to assess...are you feeling inspired, alive, compassionate, optimistic...if not, look around because there's a boogie man somewhere near by...it might even be a boogie woman and you will have a grand opportunity to face her and declare your intention to live in the light...if that seems too hard, seek out a life coach, or find a friend with the capacity to see past your judgments and learn or relearn to sing...GOOD Morning...whether or not it is, is a matter for your choosing...remember to love the ones you're with and until next time I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry




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...and God said, "Let there be light..."

Yes, she did...we were sitting in the parlor and I was complaining about one thing and another and she said, "Let there be light." and I said, "could you be any less obscure?" She laughed and said, "Look, you can be stuck in the drama of your life, or you can step out of it for a moment and bring the light of consciousness where only darkness was a moment before."
Well to say the least, I was dumbstruck....

Here's God in all her glory telling me the same things I tell my clients, "Choose, stay in your story, or let it go...return to the light of authentic self awareness." I'll be damned,(oops, just an expression God, don't take it seriously) If I'm feelin' gray the answer is within me...stop, choose, release...sometimes it's easier to do than others, and yet, it is always our choice...

My hope is that today and each day you choose the light...I will do my best...I know that depression, anxiety, compulsion and addiction is not the answer...now all I have to do is choose otherwise...I do...love the one's you're with and until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry




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Today is the Best Day of Your Life

Yesterday was and tomorrow will be, but today is...I know, there have been better and perhaps you can imagine worse, but still, in all, today is the best day of your life. It is the culmination of everyday and every moment and you are, or have the potential to be wiser, and more present than ever...being the best day, doesn't mean being the least challenging, or being full of the most rewards, or without any hardships, or sadness...being the best means you can chose to be the best you've ever been, to this point, and have the most acceptance you've ever had, and do the most good you've ever done..."Today is that day, and it is the best opportunity ever"....

We need more well being, we need more co-operation, and we need more willingness to surrender our fear...all the chatter about conservative or liberal, this way or that way, making money, individual rights, or the greater good, capitalism, socialism, or communism...is just that, chatter...like monkeys in the trees, a cacophony of sounds that at the first sign of trouble become a deafening squeal....

We are, all of us on this earth, a tribe...if you don't believe me, go somewhere, sit with someone who you don't know, can't speak their language, don't know their customs, or gestures and be with them (be with them means, "let go of your fear"), a few moments...then you'll know, we are one and the same, and our needs are identical, and our wants are similar, and our joy at being with each other "priceless"....

This is the best day of your life because you declare it and tomorrow will be even better...you can choose that and you can live into that...even if you don't...you can...and perhaps, today or tomorrow you will...if enough of us do, we will become a force to be reckoned with...we will become the standard for which others can find their way; and we will be part of the will that will end wars; and end hate; and end needless suffering that plagues us...because today, was not the best day for those who remain angry, or self absorbed, or greedy, or obsessed with power over others, even if they think it was...they only survive in that state because we allow it...when we declare that this is the best day ever of our lives, and discover the truth of that is releasing fear, we take the power away from the nay-Sayers and self absorbed...It must come from you, not from them, they don't need to change, you do, and then you open the door to miracles...be well, loves the ones you're with, and in the end, declare and discover, that this and everyday, is the best day of your life...where's the harm in that? Until next time, I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry




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Is Love all there is?

...is it? Well, What about the mortgage payment, or global warming, or having a tummy ache...maybe cement trucks are all there is, or Mac Donald's...maybe fast food is all there is...How 'bout heartbreak, or basketball, what about missing your period, or cancer...wow, when you have cancer, believe me that's all there is...and then there's work and bad bosses, or being tired, or fired...how 'bout that, being tired and fired is all there is...how 'bout money or money problems, yeah, that's all there is...and bad news in the newspaper, that definitely is all there is...how 'bout being unfaithful or having your spouse be unfaithful...oh boy, that's all there is...and how 'bout being sick or old, or goin' "seenial" ...that's gotta be all there is....

What is happening to you today, what ever it is, that's all there is...and bein' upset is without doubt all there is, until it isn't...how 'bout a love one dying...OMG...that's all there is...and being past over...oh heavens that is definitely all there is...havin' an arguement or gettin yur kids to do what they're sa'pose to...there's definitely nothin' else...how 'bout bein afraid or bein' terrified, why that IS all there is...except of course...money...yep without it we're dead...money is all there is....

NOW, is actually all there is, or said more precisely; everything that is, is NOW...the totality of existence is in the NOW and you live only in the NOW even when you think you don't...NOW is and LOVE is...and YOU are...and even in your most empty moment...and don't think I haven't been there...YOU are LOVE...it could be argued that LOVE is all there is...or you could take it on faith...LOVE is all there is and the manifestations of it are sometimes hard to see...be all you can be...return often to the simple truth...you are loved, you love, and cherish each moment...love the ones your with and until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry






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What are 'you' Pretending Not to Know

...or are you? well, here's the rub...if you're triggered, and believe me when I say, "If you aren't now, you soon will be"; really, it's the way of life...and then you too, will be pretending not to know. That's what we do when things don't go our way, or we feel hurt by others, or we want reality to be different than it is...When you feel misused, or victimized, or at the effect of powers beyond your control, 'you', the little 'you' of your fight/flight/freeze persona, just arbitrarily decides not to know what your role in the affair really is..."I don't know why this has to be like it is...."

"Why did you do that to me? Huh, why?" "I have no idea why I lost that contract." "I was just minding my own business, and wham..."I never knew she was so unhappy." "Why are things the way they are in my life? I don't know."...Yes, you do...and no matter the circumstances, it would be a lot better if you looked around and told the truth..."What is it that I'm pretending not to know?" Good question, and even better when you answer it....

"I'm pretending not to know that I'm not a victim; I'm pretending not to know that I'm not paying attention to the concerns of others, I'm pretending not to know that I'm closed off, or self absorbed, or self important, or playing helpless, or hiding, or just being scared out of my mind..." it could be a lot of things, but that is not nearly as important as discovering what it is for you...What are you pretending not to know...and how is that affecting the quality of your life?

What I mean by that is paying attention to the level of enthusiasm you have for facing whatever challenges are coming your way...looking for opportunities to contribute to others and make their lives just a little bit better for your being there...and being in touch with your own vulnerability and making peace with it as you travel down your path...If you wake up each day with a smile on your face and a bounce to your step...well, maybe you are seeing the possibilities, if not...well....

You might wish to leave the little you and begin to allow the big YOU of your Authentic Being to emerge...that is the journey from; struggle to aliveness, or from complaint to caring, or from anger to compassion...trust me when I tell 'YOU', 'you' are pretending not to know each time you are frustrated, confused, and discouraged...and being reminded of that, can be a gift to allow the 'YOU' of your 'beingness' to reemerge...YOU are a gift, YOU are a force that can change the world...use it wisely, be patient and remain awake to your being....

Be well, tread the world gently, care a lot without penalty, find compassion in situations you never could before; and as always, love the ones you're with...until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry







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...and in the end there was ONE...

Many of us, today, struggle with our spirituality...some find comfort in a specific modality, others pay a little lip service...and an increasing number see it as an outmoded, outdated notion, not worth another moment or thought....

Spirituality though, is not just a bunch of superstitions, it seems to be at the heart of human consciousness...we have spiritual needs...not necessarily church, mosque, or synagogue, and not a belief in some human morphed, super Deity...if those ways flick your bic, more power to you...but for the rest of us, who have tuned out and downgraded the need...we missed the point...spirituality, is as important as food, water, productive work, or the air you breathe....

You may not find your spirituality in organized religion, or mythical stories, but when you are stressed and feeling at loose ends, feeling like nothing matters, or feeling strangled by the superficial struggle to survive...you are at your own spiritual crossroads...you need more than a vacation...you need an infusion of spirit...that inestimable quality of personal worth, of cherished purpose, of passion that you matter, because...YOU DO...YOU are and have always been, a child of this universe....

Spirituality has become a dirty word for many of us because of the crimes done in the name of one religion or another...but that is throwing the baby out with the bathwater...if you have a spiritual practise, no matter what it is, focus on the universal nature of it, and dismiss the 'us or them' aspects...if you have no spiritual practice...reassess...because in truth you do...each day you wake and you strive--you express hope and promise; each day you dress, or make a meal, or appreciate a moment--the possibility of spiritual renewal is living within you...In all of life, your place is first and foremost, a witness to living, the incredible experience of acknowledging being and being witness to each other can be a spiritual awakening...it is the antidote to boredom, to stress, to anxiety and depression...it dispels ennui and doubt...discovering the power of your consciousness, the uniqueness of your being and your rightful place in the cosmos, is invigorating...and is no less important than breathing....

You are a gift, you are cherished, you are the perfect vessel to view the universe...with out you the universe would be without meaning and purpose...it does not matter that there are others, it only, and ultimately matters, that YOU do...You bring love where none existed, you bring possibilities where nothing lived, you bring tears, and joy and endless magic to a world that had none of this before you....

How do I know this? That is simple, on two occasions I was in a room with my wife and YOU emerged...Ashley first, then Devin, and everything I just shared with you here, flooded every fibre of my being...no matter the circumstance this is true of you and me, as well...the earth welcomes each newcomer with this profound reverence...Your arrival on this planet is a gift and you are the gift...fulfill that with each breath, renew that with each moment and trust that with each day that passes...You are a gift, you belong here, love a lot, laugh whenever possible, celebrate the joy and the sadness, be brave even when you can not, believe in more than drudgery and boredom, be inspired and inspiring...love the ones you're with, until next time, I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry








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What are You Putting Up With Today?

We all do you know...we put up with things, thinking that that is what we have to do...or it's the best there is...it isn't, we don't...'have to' that is...we have many layers of vulnerability yet to tap....

Vulnerability??? Yeah, that really scary place where we are intensely visible, acutely aware and open to being...what???...Slaughtered??? Yes and no; we were as children...WE WERE... slaughtered that is... We were taken unawares and we learned...never, never, never to be that "off guard" again...see that? off our 'guarded', controlled, safe, protected, selective self...our auto/protector is 'ON'...we manage, make do, put up with and cope...we do....

...and it is slowly killing us... if not in body, in spirit....

Yes, I know, life is good, things are grand and I am enormously pleased that that is so...and...unequivocably, we put up with things we don't need to put up with and which block us from experiencing even greater rewards of closeness and intimacy in our lives....

It happened again, to me...I have a grand life and a marvelous relationship with my wife...and tonight we found even more opportunities to break through barriers that we didn't even allow ourselves to know were there...we were putting up with way too much and after the fact it was clear how dreadful that was...we deserved more and...SO DO YOU!!

Discover the ways you put up with things...in life, in relationships, at work, with the kids...and come clean...break the habits of a life time...discover vitality, learn and experience the rich fabric which is your life...be gentle with yourself, cherish the possibilities, in moments where boredom or routine has stolen your vulnerability...notice the little voice which, while reading this, says to you, "Oh, don't be absurd things are fine, life is full of ups and downs and we're fine...who made him judge anyway"....

Not judge, seer...as in the little boy who went to see the Emperor and proclaimed, "...but daddy the emperor has no clothes." You are no different...if you look at others, you will see too...they are holding back, playing just a little bit smaller than is needed...it's not wrong, just a little sad...as best you can and in your own time...come out and play...just a little more intensely, a little more vividly...a little more alive...authentically...and if you need a boost, find a life coach, or someone to point you in the direction you have always wanted to go...living fully in your life....

You are not wrong, this is not a notice of admonishment...it is a call to you and those you love; to risk a little more, and trust a little more, and be willing to experience just a little more self possession to be YOU, the big unfettered YOU...unhindered by fear....

To the 'real' adult in you, 'hurt' is exquisite and not to be missed, we embrace the possibility of it, because we know the rewards and the loss if we don't...risk, trust, be exquisitely vulnerable...You'll find a way, I know you will, you are incredibly strong...stronger than you imagine; loving, compassionate, intuitive and creative...you'll find a way...just when you think that's all there is, you'll find a little more and know that it was all very worth it and you are worth it...Love yourself and the ones you're with, pass this on to your network of friends and contacts...until next time...I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry








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Wait, not now, Oh no...

I definitely don't have time to be doing this now...taxes are due, bills to pay, Mom needs help, Doctors' appointments waiting, MRI's, Radiation, Refi's, clean-ups, visits, follow ups, oh,my, who says stress isn't out there...Oh, yeah, that would be me....

Sorry, you're probably stressed out just reading this, but stress isn't in how busy we are or how much is on our plate...it isn't how dreadful the circumstances, or dire the situation...stress is our own, made up reaction to life...I'm stressed, yes, I am...I have too much to do and not enough time to do it...the things left undone are critical and crucial; and my performance is woefully lacking...I am stressed, Yes, I am....

Or not.....................I was stressed, all the classic signs, forgetful, spilling things, not being present to whatever I was doing...Yes, I was stressed...I needed to be...It was what life demanded of me...and I was goin' down fighting...but goin' down none the less....

Stress is like that, you fight the good fight, but the stress only detracts from your effectiveness, you might as well take a break because continuing will only produce more of the same...stress is a personal reaction to life circumstances and you can (and might I be so bold as to say...MUST) take a step back...I know...you can't...but do it anyway....

Whatever your life needs, and whatever you need to get done...what you, and life needs first and foremost is YOU...not the little 'you' but the big, unstressed, 'YOU'...I do speak from experience here...you take care of yourself first; as they say on the airplane, "put your mask on first, then help the children you like next"...oops too bad about little jonny...If you are going to be effective with anything in your life you first must be effective with you and your stress...get unstressed...find a quiet place and breathe, or take a yoga class, or talk to a friend that will quietly listen...seek a life coach, or take a long luxurious bath...then calm and quiet your mind by remembering that this too shall pass, you are a child of the universe, you were meant to be here, you are not alone, it doesn't really all depend on you, and you are entitled to breathe deeply, sleep soundly, and enjoy fully each moment of your life...love the ones you're with and until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry





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R U OK?

Really...R U? Do you sleep well, wake up without an alarm lookin' forward to the new day's possibilities...R U heading down a path of your choosing, livin' the life you'd be proud to have your child live? R U confident, happy, full of compassion for others in your community...do you party enough without getting wasted and doin' stupid things...and on the other hand, do you do just enough stupid, silly things to keep the fun in your life? Are there important things for you to do and are you proud of yourself...do you know that you make a difference and your efforts are deeply appreciated?...alright then, I guess you really are okay....

...And if you're not okay, upon occasion, you can take a moment and realize it's probably because you've forgotten who you really are...another way of sayin' that is, 'you've been triggered'...You've slipped into the world of survival and instead of the world bein' your oyster, you're the one bein' eaten...life's like that some time's and when it is we all usually make the same mistake...we try to fix things...that's called coping...

Now, coping doesn't sound so bad;
"How ya doin'?"
"Oh, I'm copin'."
...except copin' ain't really so fun, it's just 'gettin' by, doin' the best you can...and makin' do...actually it's on the road to despair...when we get triggered, we lose the freshness, fun, and joy that life has to offer and things begin to take on deep and ominous meanings...It's hard, and life gets a little harder, until either, we stop coping, or we settle into the drudgery we call life....

Life should never be drudgery, or obligation, or responsibilities...life is a gift...yes, you have responsibilities and you take on obligations, but they are only worth anything when you embrace them with enthusiasm...if your obligations and responsibilities are getting you down...you are triggered and you are coping and you are one step closer to misery...if this is happening to you...stop, breathe, throw them all off, long enough for you to really breathe and refresh and then take them back one at a time and only if you really, in your heart, want to...otherwise tell the truth..."these are not for me...I need help"...living in fear and pain is not the answer for anyone and when your responsibilities, obligations or living day to day is killing you... it's time to ask for "HELP!" Then get the help you need, so that you can once again be part of the solution instead of bein' part of the problem.....

Life is meant to be lived, not survived...none of us will survive...all of us can live...be joyful, be full of compassion, seek life coaches when you are not, learn to wake with enthusiasm and a sense of how precious you are and how valuable you are and how cherished you are ...then go forth in your world, loving those around you, be well, be happy, love yourself, and remember...you are the light...until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry








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Who let the rain in...?

Who indeed...let me know if I have this right...you don't support our troupes if you want them to come home out of harms way...you're unamerican if you don't support the war which was started to eliminate WMD's that didn't exist; and everyone with a shred of intelligence knew, didn't exist...You are a socialist, commie if you want your society to provide health care to it's citizens...Oh, yeah, that one's really true...heath care is not a right of the citizens of a society...when one of the members is sick...who cares??? If they want care let them pay their own way and if they can't??? Well, tough tamana...health care is a business...people have a right to get rich doing health care and insuring health care and anyone who thinks otherwise is just...well...wrong!!!

Anyone here ready to rethink these notions...when humans began their existence on this earth, they knew certain things, one of these things is that their group needed someone to treat, the sick and infirm...the medicine men and women were always and forever commissioned by the society...illness and disease is a community problem and the medicine person always and forever worked for the community...these dedicated doctors were called to work for the community...not once were they shouted down for being socialists...they knew that their position was one of the most revered in the society; and they knew that their calling was one they never could put down no matter what...they were "paid" as best as the society could afford and this continued well into the 19th century, as the frontier doctors would answer the call of the community and work for dinner, or vegetables, or whatever...they knew that each community needed a doctor and they filled that need...in return the community provided shelter, food, and whatever funds they could gather and everyone thought the doctor should get more for the love the community had for them...What happened???

Do you really believe that anyone in your society should be turned away from care if they show up with a broken leg, an infectious disease, a difficult pregnancy??? Should the size of your pocketbook determine the quality of your care? In all of history it never did...why now??? Health care has always been a function of the needs of the society...the health care professionals have always been employed by the society...just like the firemen, the police, and the chiefs...should the firemen check your ability to pay before responding to your fire? Should the police check your credit report before deciding who they will arrest? Should a Doctor review the contents of your wallet before viewing the contents of your burst appendix???

This is decidedly not socialism...it is humanism, or just plain common sense...the society has need of doctors and health care...each and every individual within that society needs to know that when their turn comes they will be treated with the same care and respect that they gave when they were healthy and did everything they could do to make sure their neighbors were cared for when they needed it. Health care, fire protection, police protection are all social responsibilities...and the individuals that fill these posts do so just as much for you and me as they do for the pay check...do you really want to be treated by a doctor that will quit and go into engineering if (s)he isn't paid enough? If the calling is not there to be a doctor, all the money in the world will not make them a good doctor, and if the calling is there, no amount of difficulty will stop them from ministering to the sick....

It is obscene to allow insurance companies to make a dime on health care...it is farcical to expect only the well healed to have effective medical care...it is criminal to deny care to someone on their ability to pay...I know, let 'em eat cake....

We are a tribe, albeit, a big one, and we need each other...some things just should never be privatized, roads, water, air, and health care...be kind to yourself, love yourself, discover how important it is to be generous to your neighbor, love the one's you're with and in the fullness of time be glad you live in a society that knows, in time, you too will need their care and they will be there to provide it...until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry




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Follow the Money

Yes, capitalism is our way and socialism is really, really, bad...maybe firemen should get an "ability to pay" before coming to your house, and cops arrest the one with the least money (oops, maybe that is happening)...No, No, No you say government should do some things...just not health care....


Oh really...so let me get this straight...triage should be done with your wallet first...if there are five people in medical need (you being one of them) and these needs are of various medical urgency's we should address the needs of the rich first...so a senator's hangnail comes before your burst appendix...profit first....


You know for the first fifty thousand years or so medical treatment was done by the government...that government included the witch doctor...or herbalist and the community was served by them equally...when a community needs health care it is the community that licenses and authorizes the gifted practitioners...has always been that way...trying to make a profit out of the communities need for health care is like trying to privatize the army (oops, already doing that) making war profitable is a good thing... (isn't it?)...making the hospitals motivated to get rid of patients is a wonderful and effective way to do health care...surely you see that...paying insurance companies to find ways to deny coverage for the sake of their investors...just makes sense...denying coverage to my mother so that all involved make a few extra bucks is just the 'american' way...personally, I love it...what the hell...the old bag is 86 and dying anyway...giving her a few extra days or years of a quality life just doesn't make sense ECONOMICALLY...Yep I get it...You're next you know; and I know you can see...really no matter how much money you have, that actually giving you what you are paying for just doesn't make sense to the good investors and the well being of doctors who simply need even more that the millions they often get...pay the provider one fee, then tell them that's all you get whether you keep them one day or the 100 that we promised them...yeah, those places sure have your best interests at heart...count on it...mom did....


Well, remember, having health care which works for everyone, works for no one...so let's keep the profit in non profit and get those pikers who just want to be taken care of when they're ill off the dole and out of the way...health care for the deserving rich is my motto...if you can't afford it who cares anyway...guess who's havin' a bad day....remember love the ones you're with even if they can't afford it and be kind to yourself...until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry





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