Being, Doing, Having in Your Life

...there are many paths to travel, but always, it is a question of who will be traveling them...when we get triggered by life we lose the ability to choose...we become feral by nature and we slip seamlessly into our survival personae...from there most of life is lead to no particular benefit....

Is that true? Do you and I get triggered by circumstance, loss, fear and pain? I know the answer for me is a resounding yes; and when that happens, and it does more often than I would care to admit, I am miles from a place that would allow me to find peace and well being...I lose the ability to live and let live, I become strident or uncommunicative and most of all I become right, or wrong, without any ground in between.

If you want to solve an issue in your life, in my experience, you must first be willing to surrender your willfulness, righteousness, helplessness, hopelessness and victimhood...these are the playground of the terminally triggered people of the world...this is the place of war, poverty, self absorption and intractability...survival is not a place of living...it is a place of desperation.

If you have a war in your life, or an intractable issue, no matter its nature...trust me when I tell you with all kindness, YOU ARE TRIGGERED....

This is not a bad thing...it is, however, a place where you will find no peace...you are not this little "you", except as you believe that to be true..."you" (small letters) is the personae of the triggered being; and your path of peace lies in your willingness to surrender this little "you" and discover the miracle of the "YOU" of your Authentic Being.

It starts with trusting that no good will come from being triggered and no lasting solution will be found in fight/flight/freeze reactions...YOU is waiting for "you" to allow it to reemerge and you/YOU is only a moment of release away....

Try it next time you feel like shouting, or hiding, or feeling hurt, lost or helpless and you may be amazed at what world awaits you...our leaders could use a time out, and with it a new will of co-operation, but rather than wait for them, let's just take the time ourselves and release...we belong here, this is our time, life is good in spite of any circumstance that seeks to say something to the contrary...live well, cry freely, relax, know of your strength and until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry

Allowing Love...Revisited...

...Allowing...allowing...not the stuff of a go getter, high achiever, money maker, firebrand politician, or even a good C.E.O., Parent, Doctor, Lawyer or, ... YOU???? Me????

We gentle a bit as the years past, well, some do, many might decide that what is really going on, is that we "settle"...settle for what as kids would nearly kill us...and some of us do just that...but, is that what it is I wish to speak of, this "Allowing thing" I'm sharing about today, is it just some rationalization to 'be', 'do', 'have' less than is possible? I don't think so, I think it's the path to discovery, peace of mind, well being, and co-operative life on a shared planet.

When I find myself drifting away from allowing life to unfold, (that 'drifting' may actually look like careening out of control down the highways of my life), I sometimes FEEL like things are more in control, managed, and SAFER...but I've never found, upon retrospect that, that was truly so with any aspect of life or real achievement. Short term gains sometimes seem necessary, and perhaps they are, but this 'short term gain' thing is not the rare exception in human endeavor (and especially the human endeavor of most of us here in America) it is the rule of thumb that is undercutting us as individuals, villages, towns, cities, states, and nations...too much doing, driving, forcing...making happen...not enough "allowing".

I'll make it simple...it's true for me, and I know from simple observation how true it is for each person I see struggling with life at any level. Parenting isn't hard...teaching isn't hard, having quality partnerships, rewarding careers, good emotional balance, easily available effective health care for the entire community, strong non threatening, non-limiting faith, and cleaner more healthful air is not the stuff of Titans...It is the stuff of allowing....

I know this to be true...not theoretically, but practically, when people stop pushing, driving, fearing, forcing...demanding, and TRYING...things begin to work...I can promise you that...really....We can have our basic needs met and our health system in order, and productive service (also known as jobs) available to any who wish to participate...we can have good social order and deep rewarding personal lives, daily, weekly, monthly...we can...and I promise that this is not just silly nonsense...really....

Now, I know, who am I, and why should anyone listen to this???...these issues are just too important to play nambie, pambie, Pollyanna games with...we can't just stick our head in the ground and wait for nirvana...well, wait...haven't we tried it the other way long enough? Is the air clean, roads safe, are the systems functioning so highly above expectations????? And most importantly for all, are you fully engaged in productive service within your community that seems to have eliminated the destructive power of our financial and social meltdown? Is satisfaction running so high, debt load so low, and well being pouring out of so many places that we can't stop just for a moment to pause....

Try it...today...just stop...relax...gentle a bit, then discover what is, right there in front of you, relax, let go of your judgement and BE...Be with what is until you can allow it to be, and love it to be, just as it is...just what it is, "in the service of you and all about you"...relax, this too shall pass, life can recover, lives can be spared, joy can abound...you are a child of this universe, "allow it"...it is immense, and waiting for you to emerge from the driven concerns of a too stressful life...be well, cry freely, live with grace for yourself and all that share the journey with you...allowing love in your life is allowing life in your love...thanks for looking in...until next time, I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry






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Today and Everyday

I've struggled some this past year, a culmination of just the right amount of illness, loss of income and dealing with all that entails in this world of ours. I have passed through some places I've never imagined I would travel...and handled it worse than I thought possible...I feel beat up, beat down and bedraggled...and sometimes those are my good days...I don't know why I am telling you this and that is the best news I've had today...I don't know why....

All of my struggles come down to one thing...trying to manage life, or said in other ways "Coping"...I've been "Coping"...how often we think of coping as a good thing...but my experience tells me otherwise...not just mine, but all the clients I've had through all the years of my practice. If you're struggling to answer "WHY QUESTIONS", you're coping, and you're triggered and if you're triggered you've fallen from the one place that, can and will, offer you comfort and real healing...TODAY....

Everyday is today...it is all that any of us have and certainly all that I have. Today, I write to you, to remind myself that, today, I am in the best place I've ever been in in my life, not only do I have my health, but I have a strong financial position, better friends than ever I knew was possible, opportunities just awaiting my willingness to go forth and...today is the best day of my life. (That wasn't what I thought as I began to write, it is simply what I found, as the words came forth.)

They say you teach what you need to learn and no doubt that is true of me...I know some of you struggle, find frustration, feel bedraggled and I want you to know that, that was and is because of 'yesterday and tomorrow', not today and everyday...for today and everyday, I am fine, I choose it; until I forget who I am, and then I worry about yesterday and tomorrow and never even check in with today....

Thank you for your patience, it's been quite some time since we've spoken...but you we're never far from my thoughts and until I was willing to be here with you today...without knowing why, I made up that I did not wish to burden you or me with yesterday and tomorrow...be well, breathe, cry, play, jump for joy, (never did know quite who Joy was), never answer 'WHY QUESTIONS' and remember you too are a child of the universe, you belong here, you make a difference, you are loved and cherished and it has always been so...so, love the one's you're with and I shall be sharing with you soon, with much gratitude and respect, I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry



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Be, Do, Have

You know, human beings have two very distinct operating systems. History has been full of references to this phenomenon, mind/body dichotomy, good and evil, heaven and hell...but it is far more personal than that. Each of us, individually, have two very distinct operating systems; and it really is what makes our world go round....

...the second operating system we might call grazing...it is an amazingly unique system developed only after we grew some very large frontal lobes...the Neo-cortex is its home...this operating system allows us to be human beings...it generates our curiosity, imagination, creativity, and allows us to be compassionate, kind, thoughtful, giving, co-operative even when it doesn't serve some personal need...and loving...this operating system allows us to listen, without forming a counter opinion, be concerned for others even when we are being berated by them, be willing to sacrifice gain today for the good of tomorrow, form consensus and experience fulfillment in service...it allows us to turn the other cheek...it is an amazing advance of consciousness unseen in a world before Homo, Sapiens, Sapiens...we've all experienced this operating system...we know its true...we've seen it in operation and been its author....

...then there is the first operating system, its home is the Amygdala and core brain...it has access to most of mental capacities of Homo, Sapiens and it is probably best described as your survival system...it has one of the most sophisticated fight, flight, freeze mechanisms in the world and it is capable of amazing feats of physical and mental manipulations that allow us to be the most adaptable species on the planet...It has fantastic tool making capacity, cunning, deception, misdirection, and insight into the workings of things...it is a human doing at an incredible pace...it sees things in black and white, good or bad, in or out; and you couldn't have a better ally in a fox hole...it is your best defense because it can create a defense for just about anything...none of us would even be here without it....

The operating systems are hierarchical, if survival SEEMS to be at stake you will be using your survival operating system...and when things are safe enough you will have access to your gazing system...I call these two systems the auto/protector self and the Authentic Self...but that's probably wrong, because it makes one seem better than the other...and they are not...each has its place and that is the point of this blog....

When things are really dangerous to life, it is a good idea to use your auto/protector operating system...But, and here's the rub, most of the time, in today's world, things are safe, but the auto/protector is the system we use to determine whether it's safe or not...and invariably it's answer is (just to be on the safe side) NO...it leads us to determine that that new group is dangerous, or these circumstances are risky, or supporting our opponent is wrong, or that stocking up for our side is best, that other's ideas are dangerous and strong defenses are never strong enough...it sees the boogie man in every corner and it makes it damn hard for any of us to find our other operating system....

We have two operating systems and too few of us, too little of the time, use both in a balanced way...when 9-11 happened I wanted to nuke everybody involved, or supportive of it...("auto/Protector")...that never can work, never will work...doesn't matter, I wanted to do it anyway...and that's the thing about our two systems, one of them could make things a lot better for all of us, and one of them only wants to make it better for ME...Obama may not be your cup of tea, but we could make him the best president ever if we chose...yes, if he wanted to start another war, we might have to think twice about that, but we can help anyone be better by being better ourselves....

If you could use your Authentic Self system...it would easily see that sacrifice of the immediate gain was a good thing, it would give whoever is president a helpful hand and pose concerns as thoughtful possibilities, but it is seldom allowed to play in today's world, because we all think survival is more important than living...maybe it is, I don't know...but it's not what I'm hoping for...what I'm hoping for is that you will stop and look and think...is this my grazing self or my protective self (and maybe, "is that their protective self or thoughtful self) maybe even review the above definitions to help you decide if the people you listen to deserve your adherence/agreement (auto/protector), or compassion/thoughtful understanding of their being in survival (Authentic Self)...it's actually easy to spot survival, when you let go of survival...and then asked, "If I don't declare it safe...then who..." This is not about who is right or wrong it is about who is willing to use their Authentic operating system when everything and everyone else is telling them not to...turn the other cheek, give up today's gain for tomorrow's promise, help someone other than yourself by knowing that truly is in service to you, wake up from the nightmare of bully pulpits, greed, (self possession/absorption/aggrandizement), need, and fear...be a light, no matter how small or dim, that welcomes all who need your love...give freely of yourself and do so especially when you don't think you can...this is not about, 'US or THEM'...we are all US...THERE IS NO THEM...I know you are doing a grand job of this, but it helps me to say these things, so that at least I am reminded...love the ones you're with and those who may come to view, cry freely, be generous, gentle and in love with the possibilities...give grace to those you disagree with and enjoy...until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry





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Hope is not your friend...(unless she is...)

We're all about HOPE, aren't we...as well we should be...hope, sometimes seems to be all we have and without it one can only imagine the despair waiting to claim so many of our lives...I hope you feel better; or I hope I feel better; I hope the economy improves, or your trip goes well, or your dreams come true...or mine do...We hope all the time...and it seems we would be lost without it...and that's just what THEY are counting on....

My wife saw a story recently about a woman who really wanted to develop cosmetics that would be great for a person's skin and make a difference, so she went to work for a cosmetic company that touted the quality of their product..on her first day of work she was pulled aside and told, "The first thing you have to understand is, forget what's in the bottle, we are selling hope..." hope is what sells, not product...she quit the next day...most of us can't afford to quit when we discover our employers are stretching the truth or asking us to do things that we know are wrong...we hope it will get better or they will see the light...but we have bills to pay....

...at Ford, "Quality is job one"...this ad ran when Ford was near the bottom of the heap in manufacturing a quality product...J D Powers has refined the process of, "...becoming intimately familiar with consumer decision-making habits and perceptions..." and your perceptions and habits are intricately tied to your hopes....

I hope you are having a good day...but much more to the point, I hope (perhaps pray that) you will stop hoping, take a breath, have a good stretch (yoga is wonderful) and look...be present...you are alive and are faced with whatever conditions you are faced with...they will pass in time whether you do something about it or not, but not necessarily to your betterment...hoping will not make it better...but being present to it may allow you to discover what will...ignore the hype as best you can, seek solace in peace, harmony, and goodwill...help those you can, including yourself, cry freely when you can't, seek warmth when you are cold and cool streams when it is warm...be available to witness life (no need for hope); and with as much courage as possible...tell the truth...learn to play (even with the silly hype), don't take things too seriously, be gentle and as happy as you can be, given the circumstances...but never forget...this too shall pass and in the fullness of time it is only your love that will make a difference, not your hope, for the good in all of us is our being...and when your actions come from being-ness you won't need to hope for the best...you will be the best and are the best...until next time...I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry



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Who is Important?

You know who's important...you see them in the paper, Paris, Brittney, Lindsey...Or maybe Clinton, or Bush...maybe Rush, or O'Reilly...Obama??? not so much...but BP, yep, and don't forget AIG they're too big to fail...Lots and lots of important folks...Tiger, and any news maker of the day...Important....

Everybody with a platform is important...oooooouuu...this is my platform...I must be important...Not so much...too small...too, too, too...nothing...but B of A is important, and everyone speaking on behalf of a country is important...or are they???

You know, it may seem incredibly impossible but you are important, far more important that everyone listed so far...in a world of human beings, you are doing well in the "being" part of that equation...the world of human doings??? maybe not so much...but the human doings right now are not "doing" such a bang up job....

Ever stop to think that amassing a few billion dollars like Billy Gates is not such a grand thing...when the Pharaohs got a few hundred thousand of us to build their coffin...did that make them important...history thinks so...and therefore, too often, so do we...but the Pharaohs were part of the problem not part of the solution...and so are almost all of the important people the media write about today...

Mel Gibson is not important, the stockholders are not important, any government official...is definitely not important...the only people who are important are the people who don't think so and are willing to do whatever it takes to make things better for everyone else....

We live in a village, a small village on a little round ball hurtling madly through space...we are one people and one group, with each individual having the same needs (needs are things that, without them, you would die, or be severely restricted) and mostly the same wants...sure some want red cars and some want green and some want no cars at all, but wants are only relevant when we make sure everyone gets what they need...If our leaders are focused on that...well done...if not...then 'we'...the important ones, need to stand up and point out who isn't getting what they need....

I'll bet you are doing a good job of that, but few listen and even fewer act...the privileged of this world want their life back too...and everyone of them is very busy pretending that working overtime to keep "what is theirs and yours" and "getting more for me not us," is the order of the day...It isn't, but that seems to go unheard...Wells Fargo just said that the customers want them to structure the overdrafts in such a way that they make another 1.4 billion dollars...is that what you told them???, because I didn't...I don't want them taking twice what is owed...and I'm just going to take a wild guess that you don't either...Years ago when Maxwell House quietly reduced the pound of coffee to twelve ounces without changing the can size, they said it was in response to what their customers wanted???? To pay more for less and not be told about it???? really???

We are in the age of rationalization...you know...that thing we all do when we don't want reality to intrude...the world could certainly use a few of us to point out when big business and government rationalize their behavior in order to protect themselves at your expense...and believe me fox news isn't one of these or msnbc...Pundits almost never come from the heart....

I know...no use fighting city hall...and yet...what else we got to do, anyway...Oh yeah, live our life...well good idea...live away, but once in a while when someone tells you that you want to pay them an obscene profit for health care, or pay more for less, or ignore how they are gouging or cheating you, speak up...and speak out, anyway you can...it's not so hard, be careful, though, it's never about institutions, it's only about YOU, the real you, the one who knows that the golden rule really is the way to live...YOU are the important one, because YOU knows that everyone is on this ride together...if it's really good for YOU, it will really be good for everyone; and if it isn't, then it isn't ...no more rationalizations...is it in service, or not...is it something you would want done to and for your mother, or not...is it decent, by any definition or not...and most of all, do you have any clue what is your fair share???

It ain't 200 million dollars, or 9 million dollar bonuses...let's get everyone with more than 15 million dollars together and have them live and work in the Sudan...bet it wouldn't take long for that mess to stop....

Well, rant is over...gotta get back to smilin' and seein' what is needed; and tryin' my best to be even one half as good as the rest of you...I love you guys, those who read this, and you've always been a step or two ahead...so, love the ones you're with, cry when you need to, be well, live with peace, go gently into your lives and celebrate the little things...until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry




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Breakdown before Breakthru

I wanted to be good...to do well...to be successful...and sometimes I was, but sometimes, when I most wanted it...I wasn't...and then...I pushed. Seems like we all struggle sometimes, if not with career, then with relationships, or parenting, or self image...sometimes we have daemons, or phobias, or personality quirks that we deem, (or THEY deem) unacceptable, and we want to change...I sometimes fail to live up to what I think is acceptable behavior and then...(wait for it)...I fail again....

That's when I go into overdrive...I will fix this...problem, flaw, failure, wrongness...and lo and behold...I don't.... Maybe it's different for you, I don't know, but my experience tells me most of us have some quirks or issues that seem to resist our best efforts to correct...that's when, after exhaustive struggle I quit, or my body quits and my mind fails and I go into complete breakdown...that happened the other day, (not that that is all that unusual) and once again I was reminded that there is often no progress until real and total failure occurs....

I lose my way and seem to only find it when I quit trying to find it...If you look at it for a moment it seems clear...you can't really lose your way, you are your way, pretending to not know who and what you are, simply requires you to quit pretending...for me that means breakdown, collapse, letting go, crying...accepting at the most profound level of acceptance...mostly we (our auto/protector) doesn't want to do that (stop, that is)...DOING demands that we act...fix...make better; not stop and be...but stop and be is what it's really all about and I was reminded of this and now I am reminding you...(Maybe only so I will get it).

Be well, cry when you need to, slay as many dragons as you please, but when they get too much, stop, pray in anyway you see fit, that allows you total surrender and trust...trust that you are love, and joy, and peace and well being, because you are...be the center of your universe...witness the passings and miracle of being sentient; love the ones you're with and until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry




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