How are you...Really?

How are you? Do you answer with a perfunctory, "fine", a more detailed, explanation, or a genuine self assessment, "Feelin' a little blue, today."...in any case, "How are YOU, really?"...what does it mean to be 'fine' or 'not fine'? Your feelings are your scorecard...how you feel about stuff, is just your emotional response to the content of your life...you are fine, even if you're dying from cancer or your best friend was in a horrible accident...you're fine...being sick, frustrated, or broke are just the stuff of life, being sad is the scorecard...it's how you know that those things are not good for you...if you had no feelings, nothing would matter, "ooh, arm cut off...great, I guess"...feelings and emotions respond or react to what we hold as valuable or important in our life...so if you're feeling sad...you're fine...and some sad things are going on in your life....

Mad, glad, sad, scared, and ashamed are easy ways to understand how you're feeling...If someone asks you how you're feeling, you might wish to review those five before answering, "I'm good" which isn't a feeling at all... or, "I feel like you shouldn't be doing that" which is a thought not a feeling...but none of that addresses how you are? If you are triggered and in your fight/flight/freeze (auto/protector) state of consciousness, then you are a victim...argue that if you must, but it will be no less true at the end of your rant...you are a victim, if you're triggered by anything in life...and we all get triggered...you are a victim...but being triggered and 'feeling' the fear, sadness or shame of victim hood isn't the end of the story...YOU the big authentic YOU is fine...your auto/protector self may see things differently, but YOU has a choice....

Who YOU are is a gift...a unique and special person who views the world from a discrete point of view...YOU are fine and perhaps you are sad, scared, angry or deeply ashamed...share that with the one's you love...not as a complaint or rant...but as the truth of your fight/flight/freeze personae, who you know is trying to survive and trying to protect you from the pain and fear of your life....

When you allow yourself to grieve, own your feelings as yours and your reaction to life's little and big distractions...YOU will return and YOU will know...without doubt or fear, that YOU and 'you' are loved...that life as a dynamic state is better for your passing and participating... YOU are fine...no matter the circumstance...be well, prosper in your feelings of love and joy, celebrate your feelings of fear, shame and sadness...and let them go in the warmth of your certainty that, "this too, shall pass"...Live well, love the ones you're with and remember to express your gratitude, admiration and satisfaction each and every day, until next time I remain...Larry




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