Disembarking from the River of Circumstance

Today the Core Paradigm took a giant leap...If you haven't been following along, the Core Paradigm is what I call the discovery I and my friends made nineteen years ago about the nature of our unique human consciousness and motivation...It helps me and thousands of others to understand and simplify the complexity of our behaviors and provides a structure for people, mentally and emotionally, to exit their self imposed destructive circumstances and emotional boxes...It is a new way of seeing human behavior and motivation (as opposed to Mental Health)...if you are stuck in negative life patterns, even occasionally, or feeling negative emotions, too often, understanding the Core Paradigm can allow "YOU" the big YOU to re-emerge in situations and circumstances that previously only the reactive 'you' (called, the Auto/Protector self) operated...the result is a more balanced and productive life....

A quick review...The Core Paradigm is deceptively simple: Two selves...one Authentic, creative, imaginative, self expressive...motivated by curiosity, productivity, service; and experiencing love, goodwill, integrity, high self esteem and feelings of peace, tranquillity, serenity and well being:

The other self...the auto/protector self...driven by fear, pain and loss, using cunning, manipulation, and the human version of fight/flight/freeze...when we are triggered into this state of consciousness we feel fear, shame, terror, anger, frustration and distress; we experience 'either/or' thinking, anxiety, envy, jealousy, stubbornness, resentfulness and depression...I would coach people that, "We get triggered and then we cope...and exiting that state will lead to a more authentic life experience"...but....

Today a new wrinkle...every so often a client would ask, "Triggered positively or negatively?" And I would slough it off with, "No, triggers are negatively experienced circumstances or situations." They would get it, and all was good...except, there ARE "positive" triggers...there is a whole other state that has troubled me for nineteen years...I use to say that there were two kinds of people, those who were so tired of their coping behavior and its consequences that they were ready to do anything to let it go...easy to work with clients, who got a lot out of the work...and then there were the other people, who coped and their coping seemed to be successful (makes money, etc. but...)...they would come to me for coaching when circumstances seemed to be against them, but they just couldn't let go of the coping that...made them make money, or got them favors, or gave them the trappings of success...When coping seemed "to work" they were unwilling to let it go (and why should they, even if it did have a little downside or two?)...It sorta worked...but not really...what was wrong? I didn't know...then today it finally made sense....

You get "triggered" by circumstances, situations and conditions...we all do and sometime those trigger us into fight/fight/freeze ...and sometimes they trigger us into affinity/attachment/acquiring behaviors...we're happy, (like Tiger), we're getting what we want, we're succeeding...What could be better? If you're experiencing that you probably wouldn't want to stop, either...but for some of us, we do...and for many more they'd be better for it (I could never say that with certainty until today)....

What is better than getting what you want, or being attached to the things you have, or feeling life is good "because"...or having life give you a lift, or tell you how powerful you are...or give you all the trappings of success?...what indeed could be better?...if your answer is 'nothing', then thanks for reading this far, but you'd best move on now....

What is better, by far, is to get off the roller coaster of the river of circumstance...being triggered, positively or negatively, can be very problematic in today's world...if you value the sense of your own self empowerment, your own integrity, and your genuine well being...if you want to know real happiness, and experience true caring for yourself and others...you'll begin to distinguish between being a satisfied "being"...and "Happy because...." Triggered humans are "human doings", not 'human beings'....

There is a place where real happiness and well being resides...it is past the things of life, and past the momentary circumstances...it is a place that babies, who have had their NEEDS well met, reside...angelic, and serene...not needing anything and trusting that the emergence of wants will not be the death of their serenity...it is the place where many guru's strive to replicate, but it doesn't have to be only on an isolated mountain top (or in a baby's crib), and we don't have to reject wanting or having...learning how to want without it triggering us and learning to achieve without being attached to it, will be quite a trick....

My distress in life is certainly a product of forgetting that my needs are already met and moaning about the wants I have or don't have and failures to get 'whatever'...Too often, I expect, I am deriving my happiness out of winning, or getting (not needs met, but wants)...My needs are met (as all of ours are [if not we'd be dead]) I'm looking for the next stop, as I bob on the river of circumstance, and I hope you will join me, as I make a reservation to get off and get on with being...more on this later as I get a better handle on it...please feel free to chip in...it is an exciting time (or is it?)...is it circumstance, or the chance to be free...time will tell....

In the mean time, love the one's you're with, until next time...I remain, Larry










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