Be, Do, Have

You know, human beings have two very distinct operating systems. History has been full of references to this phenomenon, mind/body dichotomy, good and evil, heaven and hell...but it is far more personal than that. Each of us, individually, have two very distinct operating systems; and it really is what makes our world go round....

...the second operating system we might call grazing...it is an amazingly unique system developed only after we grew some very large frontal lobes...the Neo-cortex is its home...this operating system allows us to be human beings...it generates our curiosity, imagination, creativity, and allows us to be compassionate, kind, thoughtful, giving, co-operative even when it doesn't serve some personal need...and loving...this operating system allows us to listen, without forming a counter opinion, be concerned for others even when we are being berated by them, be willing to sacrifice gain today for the good of tomorrow, form consensus and experience fulfillment in service...it allows us to turn the other cheek...it is an amazing advance of consciousness unseen in a world before Homo, Sapiens, Sapiens...we've all experienced this operating system...we know its true...we've seen it in operation and been its author....

...then there is the first operating system, its home is the Amygdala and core brain...it has access to most of mental capacities of Homo, Sapiens and it is probably best described as your survival system...it has one of the most sophisticated fight, flight, freeze mechanisms in the world and it is capable of amazing feats of physical and mental manipulations that allow us to be the most adaptable species on the planet...It has fantastic tool making capacity, cunning, deception, misdirection, and insight into the workings of things...it is a human doing at an incredible pace...it sees things in black and white, good or bad, in or out; and you couldn't have a better ally in a fox hole...it is your best defense because it can create a defense for just about anything...none of us would even be here without it....

The operating systems are hierarchical, if survival SEEMS to be at stake you will be using your survival operating system...and when things are safe enough you will have access to your gazing system...I call these two systems the auto/protector self and the Authentic Self...but that's probably wrong, because it makes one seem better than the other...and they are not...each has its place and that is the point of this blog....

When things are really dangerous to life, it is a good idea to use your auto/protector operating system...But, and here's the rub, most of the time, in today's world, things are safe, but the auto/protector is the system we use to determine whether it's safe or not...and invariably it's answer is (just to be on the safe side) NO...it leads us to determine that that new group is dangerous, or these circumstances are risky, or supporting our opponent is wrong, or that stocking up for our side is best, that other's ideas are dangerous and strong defenses are never strong enough...it sees the boogie man in every corner and it makes it damn hard for any of us to find our other operating system....

We have two operating systems and too few of us, too little of the time, use both in a balanced way...when 9-11 happened I wanted to nuke everybody involved, or supportive of it...("auto/Protector")...that never can work, never will work...doesn't matter, I wanted to do it anyway...and that's the thing about our two systems, one of them could make things a lot better for all of us, and one of them only wants to make it better for ME...Obama may not be your cup of tea, but we could make him the best president ever if we chose...yes, if he wanted to start another war, we might have to think twice about that, but we can help anyone be better by being better ourselves....

If you could use your Authentic Self system...it would easily see that sacrifice of the immediate gain was a good thing, it would give whoever is president a helpful hand and pose concerns as thoughtful possibilities, but it is seldom allowed to play in today's world, because we all think survival is more important than living...maybe it is, I don't know...but it's not what I'm hoping for...what I'm hoping for is that you will stop and look and think...is this my grazing self or my protective self (and maybe, "is that their protective self or thoughtful self) maybe even review the above definitions to help you decide if the people you listen to deserve your adherence/agreement (auto/protector), or compassion/thoughtful understanding of their being in survival (Authentic Self)...it's actually easy to spot survival, when you let go of survival...and then asked, "If I don't declare it safe...then who..." This is not about who is right or wrong it is about who is willing to use their Authentic operating system when everything and everyone else is telling them not to...turn the other cheek, give up today's gain for tomorrow's promise, help someone other than yourself by knowing that truly is in service to you, wake up from the nightmare of bully pulpits, greed, (self possession/absorption/aggrandizement), need, and fear...be a light, no matter how small or dim, that welcomes all who need your love...give freely of yourself and do so especially when you don't think you can...this is not about, 'US or THEM'...we are all US...THERE IS NO THEM...I know you are doing a grand job of this, but it helps me to say these things, so that at least I am reminded...love the ones you're with and those who may come to view, cry freely, be generous, gentle and in love with the possibilities...give grace to those you disagree with and enjoy...until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry





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Hope is not your friend...(unless she is...)

We're all about HOPE, aren't we...as well we should be...hope, sometimes seems to be all we have and without it one can only imagine the despair waiting to claim so many of our lives...I hope you feel better; or I hope I feel better; I hope the economy improves, or your trip goes well, or your dreams come true...or mine do...We hope all the time...and it seems we would be lost without it...and that's just what THEY are counting on....

My wife saw a story recently about a woman who really wanted to develop cosmetics that would be great for a person's skin and make a difference, so she went to work for a cosmetic company that touted the quality of their product..on her first day of work she was pulled aside and told, "The first thing you have to understand is, forget what's in the bottle, we are selling hope..." hope is what sells, not product...she quit the next day...most of us can't afford to quit when we discover our employers are stretching the truth or asking us to do things that we know are wrong...we hope it will get better or they will see the light...but we have bills to pay....

...at Ford, "Quality is job one"...this ad ran when Ford was near the bottom of the heap in manufacturing a quality product...J D Powers has refined the process of, "...becoming intimately familiar with consumer decision-making habits and perceptions..." and your perceptions and habits are intricately tied to your hopes....

I hope you are having a good day...but much more to the point, I hope (perhaps pray that) you will stop hoping, take a breath, have a good stretch (yoga is wonderful) and look...be present...you are alive and are faced with whatever conditions you are faced with...they will pass in time whether you do something about it or not, but not necessarily to your betterment...hoping will not make it better...but being present to it may allow you to discover what will...ignore the hype as best you can, seek solace in peace, harmony, and goodwill...help those you can, including yourself, cry freely when you can't, seek warmth when you are cold and cool streams when it is warm...be available to witness life (no need for hope); and with as much courage as possible...tell the truth...learn to play (even with the silly hype), don't take things too seriously, be gentle and as happy as you can be, given the circumstances...but never forget...this too shall pass and in the fullness of time it is only your love that will make a difference, not your hope, for the good in all of us is our being...and when your actions come from being-ness you won't need to hope for the best...you will be the best and are the best...until next time...I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry



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Who is Important?

You know who's important...you see them in the paper, Paris, Brittney, Lindsey...Or maybe Clinton, or Bush...maybe Rush, or O'Reilly...Obama??? not so much...but BP, yep, and don't forget AIG they're too big to fail...Lots and lots of important folks...Tiger, and any news maker of the day...Important....

Everybody with a platform is important...oooooouuu...this is my platform...I must be important...Not so much...too small...too, too, too...nothing...but B of A is important, and everyone speaking on behalf of a country is important...or are they???

You know, it may seem incredibly impossible but you are important, far more important that everyone listed so far...in a world of human beings, you are doing well in the "being" part of that equation...the world of human doings??? maybe not so much...but the human doings right now are not "doing" such a bang up job....

Ever stop to think that amassing a few billion dollars like Billy Gates is not such a grand thing...when the Pharaohs got a few hundred thousand of us to build their coffin...did that make them important...history thinks so...and therefore, too often, so do we...but the Pharaohs were part of the problem not part of the solution...and so are almost all of the important people the media write about today...

Mel Gibson is not important, the stockholders are not important, any government official...is definitely not important...the only people who are important are the people who don't think so and are willing to do whatever it takes to make things better for everyone else....

We live in a village, a small village on a little round ball hurtling madly through space...we are one people and one group, with each individual having the same needs (needs are things that, without them, you would die, or be severely restricted) and mostly the same wants...sure some want red cars and some want green and some want no cars at all, but wants are only relevant when we make sure everyone gets what they need...If our leaders are focused on that...well done...if not...then 'we'...the important ones, need to stand up and point out who isn't getting what they need....

I'll bet you are doing a good job of that, but few listen and even fewer act...the privileged of this world want their life back too...and everyone of them is very busy pretending that working overtime to keep "what is theirs and yours" and "getting more for me not us," is the order of the day...It isn't, but that seems to go unheard...Wells Fargo just said that the customers want them to structure the overdrafts in such a way that they make another 1.4 billion dollars...is that what you told them???, because I didn't...I don't want them taking twice what is owed...and I'm just going to take a wild guess that you don't either...Years ago when Maxwell House quietly reduced the pound of coffee to twelve ounces without changing the can size, they said it was in response to what their customers wanted???? To pay more for less and not be told about it???? really???

We are in the age of rationalization...you know...that thing we all do when we don't want reality to intrude...the world could certainly use a few of us to point out when big business and government rationalize their behavior in order to protect themselves at your expense...and believe me fox news isn't one of these or msnbc...Pundits almost never come from the heart....

I know...no use fighting city hall...and yet...what else we got to do, anyway...Oh yeah, live our life...well good idea...live away, but once in a while when someone tells you that you want to pay them an obscene profit for health care, or pay more for less, or ignore how they are gouging or cheating you, speak up...and speak out, anyway you can...it's not so hard, be careful, though, it's never about institutions, it's only about YOU, the real you, the one who knows that the golden rule really is the way to live...YOU are the important one, because YOU knows that everyone is on this ride together...if it's really good for YOU, it will really be good for everyone; and if it isn't, then it isn't ...no more rationalizations...is it in service, or not...is it something you would want done to and for your mother, or not...is it decent, by any definition or not...and most of all, do you have any clue what is your fair share???

It ain't 200 million dollars, or 9 million dollar bonuses...let's get everyone with more than 15 million dollars together and have them live and work in the Sudan...bet it wouldn't take long for that mess to stop....

Well, rant is over...gotta get back to smilin' and seein' what is needed; and tryin' my best to be even one half as good as the rest of you...I love you guys, those who read this, and you've always been a step or two ahead...so, love the ones you're with, cry when you need to, be well, live with peace, go gently into your lives and celebrate the little things...until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry




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Breakdown before Breakthru

I wanted to be good...to do well...to be successful...and sometimes I was, but sometimes, when I most wanted it...I wasn't...and then...I pushed. Seems like we all struggle sometimes, if not with career, then with relationships, or parenting, or self image...sometimes we have daemons, or phobias, or personality quirks that we deem, (or THEY deem) unacceptable, and we want to change...I sometimes fail to live up to what I think is acceptable behavior and then...(wait for it)...I fail again....

That's when I go into overdrive...I will fix this...problem, flaw, failure, wrongness...and lo and behold...I don't.... Maybe it's different for you, I don't know, but my experience tells me most of us have some quirks or issues that seem to resist our best efforts to correct...that's when, after exhaustive struggle I quit, or my body quits and my mind fails and I go into complete breakdown...that happened the other day, (not that that is all that unusual) and once again I was reminded that there is often no progress until real and total failure occurs....

I lose my way and seem to only find it when I quit trying to find it...If you look at it for a moment it seems clear...you can't really lose your way, you are your way, pretending to not know who and what you are, simply requires you to quit pretending...for me that means breakdown, collapse, letting go, crying...accepting at the most profound level of acceptance...mostly we (our auto/protector) doesn't want to do that (stop, that is)...DOING demands that we act...fix...make better; not stop and be...but stop and be is what it's really all about and I was reminded of this and now I am reminding you...(Maybe only so I will get it).

Be well, cry when you need to, slay as many dragons as you please, but when they get too much, stop, pray in anyway you see fit, that allows you total surrender and trust...trust that you are love, and joy, and peace and well being, because you are...be the center of your universe...witness the passings and miracle of being sentient; love the ones you're with and until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry




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Paradox, Uncertainty and contradiction: The Road to Wisdom

I was about twenty when I read that, "...being comfortable with paradox was the sign of wisdom...." I immediately recognized it as true, in the way a person does deep in their soul, because, along with it I knew, in exactly that same way, I had no tolerance, at all, for paradox.... I wanted answers...things are either right or wrong, good or bad, up or down...not both, or either or neither...I wanted to do good and vanquish the bad and reality kept slipping me a 'mickey'...but no matter how I tried to resist it...paradox, was and is the way to wisdom....

The truth of that can not be more obvious for most of us as we travel through the maze of our daily lives...'one size fits all' health care is a boondoggle...'one size fits all' financial practices, either with credit or banking, or the economy at large, plagues us...and trying to decide how to traverse the personal issues of our relationships; spouses, kids, bosses, co-workers, BFF's; and including our relationship with the earth, is ...full of...filled...with adversarial dynamics...we often fall into the trap of living our nightmares and calling it life; and yet, seeking counsel often seems hopeless....

We do our best...sometimes we speak up sometimes we shut up...often neither position makes us really happy and that is the point...learning to be at peace with choices, that at best may be imperfect, is hard...learning to tell the difference between not saying something because you're too worried about how it will come off and not saying something because in your best estimate it is the kind, compassionate and loving way...can be tricky under the best circumstances and way over the top when you are triggered by life's challenges...do seek out life coaches and know at the same time it is an act of wisdom to discover how to both use and discard their support....

For myself I can't survive without checking in with my guides when life gets too full of distress...and each time, what they help me do, is take a moment to step back and ask myself how sure am I, that what I'm thinking is, either 'really right', or 'really wrong'...and if the answer is I'm certain...I stop, back off, relax and look for the ambiguity...and then only after I see the paradox, the possibility of both sides being either right, or wrong, do I act...with the complete assurance that I don't really know and that I hope my choice is guided with compassion, and appreciation, and respect, for the struggles others who may oppose me are faced with...I strive to 'choose' instead of 'decide' and I strive to give the devil her due (can't always be a guy)....

Be well, live with passion, cry freely, laugh a lot, love the ones you're with and the ones you're not, when in doubt, wonder just a little if you've been blessed with a moment of true wisdom; and never forget to discover your compassion for each child who travels this path with you...until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry








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Goals and Intentions

Good morning...(see that was my intention)...to wish each and every one of you a good morning...(unstoppable, this intention thing)...for me this morning, a little overcast, very quiet...still...except for the bunny slowly hopping about, outside my front window...it seems exquisite to me...and I so want to share that with you...good morning...I want to share...(an intention)...also, I want to share with 'everyone' who is needing a little cheering up...(a goal...most stoppable)...I wish I could share this with everyone who needed to hear it...(a goal and intention all mished together)...I do wish that, and what is within my grasp is to wish you, whoever chooses to read this...a good morning...I will certainly find some other avenues, as well, today, because that is my intention...but I may not reach everyone, not bad, but short of the goal....

Sometimes when we have grand intentions they come with goals...I do that endlessly...the intention is within our grasp and the goal is something yet to be achieved...not so bad...sometimes...and devastating other times...having goals can be a two edged sword...It can lead to great achievements, or it can become the feeding ground that can turn lovely intentions into driven and hopeless needs, fristrations, upsets....

I have an intention and a goal, to reach everyone who needs it, whether they know it or not, with the message of the Core Paradigm...I think it may be best if I simply leave it as an intention...the Core Paradigm is simple, human beings become human doings when they get triggered by life...a trigger is anything in someones life that 'they perceive' as dangerous, painful or creating loss...in other words most everything in life....

Human Doings are driven by the human version of fight/flight/freeze...they are reactive, self possessed, driven, determined, dynamos of capitalism, and just about every human excess can be laid at their feet...some of these things seem good, others, not so good...Human Doings have goals and are often, very good at getting them, others, not so good...Human Doings are "either/or" kinda people, you either with'em or agin'em...seems like they make the world go round...and yes, mostly that's true....

Human Beings, emerge when it is safe enough for us, any of us, to take the time to smell the flowers...Human Beings, have intentions...they are curious, compassionate, kind, loving and generous...they look for ways for everyone in the village to share what resources are available...they give of themselves and support others to do the same...their intentions are unlimited and they're the people we gravitate to when we stop being our own human doing...as you might suspect, Human Beings and Human Doings are one in the same people...they are US....

I want people to know, that the driven nature of life is the fight/flight/freeze nature of Human Beings...I don't want to make it wrong...it's not...I want people to know that at times it can be excessive and unproductive and turn to greed and other misguided behavior...it is what leads many into depression, anxiety, frustration, rage and self loathing...I want them to know it is not an issue of mental health, but an issue of being afraid too much of the time...and I want to share that with everybody...in the hope and promise, that this knowledge can and will bring more sanity to our human interaction....

...any time a human doing returns to a Human Being, you can bet the dialogue will improve...Human Beings will solve the Palestinian thing, human doings will continue to hold their ground...Human Beings will stop focusing on greed and begin to serve the public, with whatever endeavor they are engaged in...human doings will bleed it dry...I want everyone to know it doesn't have to be this way, and they don't have to be in so much pain...but I guess that ain't goin' to happen.

...so I want to share it with you and whomever you see fit to share it with...that is what this blog is all about...to bring the message of the Core Paradigm to as many people who will have it...It has helped me, it has helped my family, it has helped my clients and perhaps has helped you as you have read these pages...I'm afraid, often, that this is not enough, it isn't good enough, but it is....

We, all of us, see the effects of too much Human Doings going on in the world...Human beings, don't have trouble getting along with each other, Human doings, do...human beings don't turn their nests (Places where they and others live and frolic) into gooey messes, Human Doings, do...Human Beings don't need to live on the brink of annihilation...apparently, Human Doings, do....

Remember, you are first and foremost, a human being, yes, you can be a human doing and you will be from time to time, but stop, look, and listen, go gently into your day, be well, trust yourself, love the ones you're with (and that includes all of humanity and the other beings of the earth), laugh a lot, don't forget to cry when you need to, share this with whomever needs to hear it (there are some buttons below to do that); and until next time, I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry






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Havin' Things Better

Most of the time, whatever is buggin' you is goin' to get worse...Wow, and this is suppose to be a helpful site?? Yep, and, "Most of the time, whatever is buggin'...," well, you get the idea...It bugs me that I'm gettin' older, that the finance company, who received billions in bailout money, won't let me have the current lower rate for my mortgage, or help in any other 'reasonable way'...that the amount of 'stuff' we've collected over the years is too much to handle as we try to organize and downsize and that my health, while good right now, is on a downward curve....

I woke this morning,knowing I hadn't slept well, struggling to relax, and fighting all the bears in my life and imagination...I'm exhausted...I think, "god, there must be more I can do...no...should do...and I'm not up to it...I'm overwhelmed, exhausted, tired..." and that just makes it worse...There are should's, coulda's, didn't and can't's all over the place, (what I call Parental Directive Language, PDL for short), what's a body to do???

Well, I'll tell ya...writing this all down has helped, finding ways to face it, accept what is and do what I can...whatever that is, letting go of PDL's, helps...and declaring that as enough...that helps...and as much as all the things that bug me may get worse...I don't have to let THAT bug me, I do have a choice, and that choice is focus....

We, all of us, are in charge of our focus...it may not seem that way at times, (certainly doesn't to me), but we are...in charge that is...as I write this my body relaxes, unlike anything I felt all night...I am in charge, I can refocus on what is, acceptance, forgiveness, (even to the evil financial system) and find new vistas to brighten my day and my outlook...I can focus on acceptance instead of judgement, the bunny, which is quietly foraging on the lawn right now, (eating my lawn??? Yikes) and appreciation of all that is working in my life....

...if the things that are bugging you in your life are getting worse, and believe me when I tell you, they probably are, take a moment write them all down, acknowledge that they are only going to get worse...then embrace that and move on...move on to new focuses...your forgiveness, possibilities, choices, and acceptance of the power you do have...no matter what that might be...remember, live in harmony, be gentle with yourself and others, love a lot, laugh even more, cry when you wish, know in your heart what may be the greatest truth...THIS TOO SHALL PASS, declare this blog piece as supportive and helpful, (well, it has been to me) and love the ones you're with, Until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry






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