...love is just a word

...and life a fragile shell...walk gently;...live in the moment means nothing until you cry until you can't catch your breath...I listen to the Avett Brothers, "I and Love and You" and cry until I can't catch my breath...only then can I see..."...dumbed down and numbed by time and age;"...talk softly...living in this moment is better when I've cried...I am scared, I talk too loud and feel too little...I'm scared...of what??? nothing...life, hopelessness, a lack of meaning...all of the above...not a bad thing at all--feels like renewal....

Today is another in an endless stream, that I get to be only the most insignificant part of...sometimes that's all right...sometimes not...I want to touch people...help them...lift them up when they fall...hold their hand when the touch makes a difference...sometimes I do...mostly I have hidden away...too afraid to be seen...too afraid that what is to be seen is not nearly enough...it is the legacy of deeply misunderstood intentions...from people too afraid of their own paths...I am sorry they could not feel more of the love we all are entitled to; and to which, I have more than my share...life is grand...especially after a good cry...hiding is grandly overrated...I hope you are filled with love, well being and joy...I know there are days where that is true for me...today???

...today I am filled with the sadness of missed opportunities and visions of cowering in the corner, crying, terrified, hoping...and hope's betrayals; ...mostly just my betrayal of myself...today is a new day and a new opportunity...so, I write...I hope it helps, I fear it won't...who could possibly need such silliness...well if no one else...I do...It helps me and while that seems like it couldn't possibly be enough...I'm going to have to make it do...I've got a lot of work to do to let it be enough...but that is a worthy path...if nothing more than how those about me will benefit...I do know how much it can mean to my family to know that I am well...and feeling good about myself...that is a worthy task and one I hope you travel...if not...get help...without doubt it is waiting for you....

I'll try to remember and I hope you will too, as well...go gently into your day, live in harmony with what is, remember NOW is all any of us have, love a lot, laugh even more, but don't forget to cry, once in awhile until you can't catch your breath...love the ones you're with...and until next time...I love you, Larry







Free Counter

...and life goes on...

...and aren't we all blessed...Ireland and Spain were amazing...travel is amazing...coming home...not so much...Why? Such a misleading word, "Why", when we say it, it almost invariably sends us directly into our head to find a 'reason'...not 'the' reason, just A reason...a better question is "What"...what is it that is keeping me from relishing my life at home? Well, thanks for asking...having to face my failures, missteps, and shortcomings is sometimes just a bit daunting...ever find that for yourself? Devin (my son) told me that it was impossible to be better than I am (meaning to this point in the NOW) and that if I looked I would see, not only the shortcomings but the blessings of who I am and have been...that my life and struggles don't need to have been different in order for me to be okay; that, yes, I was upset with me, but, if I looked I would see he only saw how much he has learned and been blessed with for being my son....

I could see that and know that my potential is what it is and trying to be something I'm not is trying to do the impossible...Now, this can be quite confusing, we can certainly try to do better next time, or try to improve our behavior, or try to live better, cleaner, smarter, but we can't be more than we actually are, today, TODAY... if it is different tomorrow that's another story, but it will include, including all the limitations that have brought us to today...Ah, being here, now, isn't such a bad thing....

Does that mean I will always be limited? Yes and no...any specific limitation may be moderated or sometimes expunged, and striving to learn and grow can be lovely, but today...TODAY...NOW, we are exactly as we are, no better or worse, and acceptance is the order of the day. I look at my life and my failings and I want them to be better...not better tomorrow, or the next day, better now, or yesterday...and trust me when I tell you...THAT AIN'T GOIN' TO HAPPEN...when I stop bemoaning the past, take stock of both my failings and my accomplishments, I find that life isn't so bad...in fact it's grand...that was the lesson Devin gave me when I was in Ireland and it is the one I am relearning as I write this...today, right here IN THIS MOMENT is grand...I am as good as I am and as bad, and things are as they are, I'm afraid at times, in love most of the time, and when I'm willing to admit it, excited about tomorrow (I hope you are too!)...I do wish I would take my own advice once in awhile...but then, where's the fun in that....

Remember, live well, love a lot, seek the support you need to flourish and love the ones you're with...until next time, I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry






Free Counter

From Ireland with love...

...nothin' like travel to give you a little perspective...or maybe it only gives me a little...you may have it all together, but I'm not even close...today is a grand Irish day, a bit o mist and a beautiful view...that wasn't so when I arrived...when I arrived I was physically not okay...I had, for the first time in my life walked off a golf course on the third hole...out of breath, dizzy, slight nausea...wondering what was goin' on with me...and equally determined to ignore it...nothing better than denial is my policy...I huffed and puffed around, sometimes feelin' a bit better, but never far from feeling something seriously was wrong that I was determined to ignore...at 65 with a history of stroke, cancer, brain tumor and other assorted ills it seemed like the thing to do....

So, off to Ireland and a fine visit with youngest son who had a few weeks to hang with his parents...we didn't really have the money or the time, life was a bit in turmoil and definitely not a good time to run off...so run off we did...and, of course, when we got there I felt worse...had trouble climbing the stairs, thought I'd pass out tryin' to hit a golf ball at the driving range in preparation for a game the next day and finally I had to come clean..."Devin (my son) there's something wrong with me, I don't know if I'm havin' heart problems or I'm just stressed out of my mind, but I almost had to sit down after the first swing at the range."

Gee, Dad, we should find out...what's goin' on?"

So, I told him and in the process found out what a marvelous Life Coach he was...he told me many of the things I tell my clients and in the end...with many tears...I released the pain and suffering I was living with, apologized to him my wife, the world in general and recovered my life...Oh, did I mention how incredibly debilitating stress can be? If not consider yourself warned...stress is a killer and so is denial...you can't always solve your distress, sometimes you need a trusting hand to get you through it...I recommend my son...he is spectacularly good, but then he has no interest in being a Life Coach...I do, however, and if you or someone you know is struggling to be free, upbeat, happy and fulfilled, tell them to get help, and if they don't know who to use send them to me...Internet works, phone or email...don't live with stress...it isn't worth it....

Amazing how easy it is to walk and run, to play golf, up and down the hills, to cherish the day, the sunset, the late night after a pint of Guinness--when you're not choking on your own anxiety/depression...and no matter how good you are, you can't always be good for yourself...Devin cured me, by being the placeholder I needed...not forever, but for NOW, and NOW is a grand place to live...remember, love the ones you're with, cherish yourself, your life, and those who need to be reminded of who they really are, go gentle into your day...until next time, I remain, Respectfully yours, Larry


Free Counter

Good Morning...and other silly nonsense....

I hope it's good...but good or not, it is morning...Judgements for human beings can be incredibly useful..."Is this good water?"...if not it may kill you...but judgements, too often today are the tethers that bind us to our fears and keep us from living large in our lives....Learning the difference between survival and living is really, learning the difference between acting from fear and choosing possibilities...between nightmares and reality....

Today, I awoke from a nightmare...driven by all the things that could go wrong, or might go wrong, or were inevitably set to go wrong, I saw the possibilities and judged them 'BAD'...and I was terrified...who, in their right mind could even imagine having a chance against such odds...and then, I awoke and 'voila', a grand morning...I chose to judge the morning 'good', grand, if you like...and as I sat down to write this my wife said how bad a night she had spent...full of anxiety...riddled with fear...and that became the basis of our morning conversation... wow, what an opportunity to choose, let the fear run (spelled 'ruin') our lives or face the insecurity, angst, and judgments we make that trap us and leave us unable to sing....

We chose to sing...we chose to embrace the fear and each other and emerge from the nightmare...oddly knowing how grand it is to finally stop and face the boogie man...the nightmare doesn't end with the cessation of sleep, it only ends when you choose to awaken to your own strength and will..."We will run no further, do your worst you old boogieman"...and he limped away chastened by the courage of the vulnerability...will you chose to face your bogeymen...I hope so...You can spot them by taking less than a minute to assess...are you feeling inspired, alive, compassionate, optimistic...if not, look around because there's a boogie man somewhere near by...it might even be a boogie woman and you will have a grand opportunity to face her and declare your intention to live in the light...if that seems too hard, seek out a life coach, or find a friend with the capacity to see past your judgments and learn or relearn to sing...GOOD Morning...whether or not it is, is a matter for your choosing...remember to love the ones you're with and until next time I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry




Free Counter

...and God said, "Let there be light..."

Yes, she did...we were sitting in the parlor and I was complaining about one thing and another and she said, "Let there be light." and I said, "could you be any less obscure?" She laughed and said, "Look, you can be stuck in the drama of your life, or you can step out of it for a moment and bring the light of consciousness where only darkness was a moment before."
Well to say the least, I was dumbstruck....

Here's God in all her glory telling me the same things I tell my clients, "Choose, stay in your story, or let it go...return to the light of authentic self awareness." I'll be damned,(oops, just an expression God, don't take it seriously) If I'm feelin' gray the answer is within me...stop, choose, release...sometimes it's easier to do than others, and yet, it is always our choice...

My hope is that today and each day you choose the light...I will do my best...I know that depression, anxiety, compulsion and addiction is not the answer...now all I have to do is choose otherwise...I do...love the one's you're with and until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry




Free Counter

Today is the Best Day of Your Life

Yesterday was and tomorrow will be, but today is...I know, there have been better and perhaps you can imagine worse, but still, in all, today is the best day of your life. It is the culmination of everyday and every moment and you are, or have the potential to be wiser, and more present than ever...being the best day, doesn't mean being the least challenging, or being full of the most rewards, or without any hardships, or sadness...being the best means you can chose to be the best you've ever been, to this point, and have the most acceptance you've ever had, and do the most good you've ever done..."Today is that day, and it is the best opportunity ever"....

We need more well being, we need more co-operation, and we need more willingness to surrender our fear...all the chatter about conservative or liberal, this way or that way, making money, individual rights, or the greater good, capitalism, socialism, or communism...is just that, chatter...like monkeys in the trees, a cacophony of sounds that at the first sign of trouble become a deafening squeal....

We are, all of us on this earth, a tribe...if you don't believe me, go somewhere, sit with someone who you don't know, can't speak their language, don't know their customs, or gestures and be with them (be with them means, "let go of your fear"), a few moments...then you'll know, we are one and the same, and our needs are identical, and our wants are similar, and our joy at being with each other "priceless"....

This is the best day of your life because you declare it and tomorrow will be even better...you can choose that and you can live into that...even if you don't...you can...and perhaps, today or tomorrow you will...if enough of us do, we will become a force to be reckoned with...we will become the standard for which others can find their way; and we will be part of the will that will end wars; and end hate; and end needless suffering that plagues us...because today, was not the best day for those who remain angry, or self absorbed, or greedy, or obsessed with power over others, even if they think it was...they only survive in that state because we allow it...when we declare that this is the best day ever of our lives, and discover the truth of that is releasing fear, we take the power away from the nay-Sayers and self absorbed...It must come from you, not from them, they don't need to change, you do, and then you open the door to miracles...be well, loves the ones you're with, and in the end, declare and discover, that this and everyday, is the best day of your life...where's the harm in that? Until next time, I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry




Free Counter

Is Love all there is?

...is it? Well, What about the mortgage payment, or global warming, or having a tummy ache...maybe cement trucks are all there is, or Mac Donald's...maybe fast food is all there is...How 'bout heartbreak, or basketball, what about missing your period, or cancer...wow, when you have cancer, believe me that's all there is...and then there's work and bad bosses, or being tired, or fired...how 'bout that, being tired and fired is all there is...how 'bout money or money problems, yeah, that's all there is...and bad news in the newspaper, that definitely is all there is...how 'bout being unfaithful or having your spouse be unfaithful...oh boy, that's all there is...and how 'bout being sick or old, or goin' "seenial" ...that's gotta be all there is....

What is happening to you today, what ever it is, that's all there is...and bein' upset is without doubt all there is, until it isn't...how 'bout a love one dying...OMG...that's all there is...and being past over...oh heavens that is definitely all there is...havin' an arguement or gettin yur kids to do what they're sa'pose to...there's definitely nothin' else...how 'bout bein afraid or bein' terrified, why that IS all there is...except of course...money...yep without it we're dead...money is all there is....

NOW, is actually all there is, or said more precisely; everything that is, is NOW...the totality of existence is in the NOW and you live only in the NOW even when you think you don't...NOW is and LOVE is...and YOU are...and even in your most empty moment...and don't think I haven't been there...YOU are LOVE...it could be argued that LOVE is all there is...or you could take it on faith...LOVE is all there is and the manifestations of it are sometimes hard to see...be all you can be...return often to the simple truth...you are loved, you love, and cherish each moment...love the ones your with and until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry






Free Counter