Discovering Your Personal Power

Most of the problems we have are an issue of our own personal power. If you were omnipotent (all powerful) whatever was bothering you would be 'no problem' at all. You would change it, fix it, make it disappear, turn it to your advantage...but you're not omnipotent and your issues persist.

The serenity prayer attempts to deal with this dilemma by giving you some 'very' sage advice: "Change what you can, accept what you can't and know the difference between the two..." (Sorry for the editing), but we often fail to heed this advice often on all three counts...we don't see all we can really do, or act on it; we don't have a clue what is intractable and unchangeable, and get down right 'pissed' that it ain't goin' our way; and we generally make no distinction at all between the two and fight every battle winnable or not.

What I think we need are some further guidelines. If you are going to be happy, if you are going to feel good, if you are going to have success and if you are going to experience great self esteem; you are going to have to experience your personal power. So, what are you more powerful and successful at doing: getting someone to do what you want or helping them get what they want; getting someone to listen to you or listening to them; wanting what you don't have or embracing what you do have; demanding that things change or accepting that things are what they are and will inevitably change in the fullness of time?

When you feel frustrated over any situation, or you are distressed about any circumstance; stop, take a moment to review the above and see how you can apply the winning strategies. Find out what others REALLY want, listen, embrace the good in them and accept that the change you are seeking will only occur when this person can be okay with you either way. This last part is the hardest, but who said you can't do hard things?

next time we will look at applying these things to yourself...breaking the cycle of addictions we all have to our failures and tearing down our self esteem by failing to live "up to" every one's expectations...especially our own...until then, love the ones you're with and find and be sure that includes YOU...I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry

A Thought for Today: Your pain is a reflection of your perceived ineffectiveness...It is a lie. YOU are perfectly effective and perfectly capable of being the whole, loving and cherished being we all appreciate.

An Action you can Take...Whatever 'bugs' you, stop, breathe, and release. Feel your feelings and own them as your reaction, not as 'caused by the person, event, or circumstance'; but as the natural reaction of 'you' the auto/protector, trying to save your life. Own this and you will be one step closer to taking 'real' control over your life.







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Is today Paradise?

What will today bring? Will you be happy, sad, irritated, frustrated, frazzled, excited or thrilled? Perhaps, all of the above. If you have a lot of different thoughts, experiences, feelings and attitudes...good for you. Sometimes, though, people get stuck in the same old rut, doing the same old things, feeling the same old feelings and they forget that today is Paradise.

We look out at the world and see all the vastness and all the people and sometimes we feel alone...but we are not alone. We are in this together; all four billion of us. We delude ourselves into thinking we are not one tribe. We look at petty differences, language, race, culture and location (petty?) and think that makes us different...it doesn't. Everyone here is here with you this minute, this moment...what you do, every action you take makes a difference.

If you take a moment and realize you are part of this amazing crazy quilt world and every small act of kindness is multiplied endlessly, you will be amazed at the sense of belonging you can muster. You may wonder if that is so, then is the corollary also true; if we do some injury is that multiplied endlessly? Well, let's take a look.

If you do an unexpected kindness what are the feelings engendered? Goodwill, gratitude, generosity, openness, pleasure and more begin to drive the energy of both you and those around you. What are the feelings generated by some bit of nastiness? Withdrawal, anger, distress, upset, sadness and, of course, revenge drive us and those around us. Which do you think has the most influence on us? If you think it is revenge, think again.

We all seek pleasure and well being. We respond to goodwill, kindness and love far more powerfully than the negative emotions of our fight/flight/freeze personality. Ice cream will always win over Castor oil and your little acts of kindness will always succeed over the meanness that thrives in our world only out of our fear to be generous.

Today is Paradise on earth for you and everyone you come in contact with if you chose to allow it. Go out today and discover for yourself what a beautiful world this really is...allow it to be your canvas; make the choice to love the ones you're with and surrender to the light of your Authentic Self...until next time...I remain, Respectfully Yours, Larry

A Thought for the Day: You always have a choice, COPE or feel your authentic feelings. If you choose the former you will bring pain to yourself if the latter you will experience your life and joy will never be far away.

An Action YOU can Take...After reading this take a moment to allow it to settle in, and then go forth with the intention to find some small act of kindness that you can do with the next half dozen people you meet...maybe an unexpected smile and nod, or a heartfelt how are you, or just a kind word or gesture, but do it for every single person you see and then reflect...are you a little closer to Paradise?






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Do You Have Faith?

Uh, oh...is this going to be a religious tract? I think not. Faith is not dogma, nor is it the exclusive property of one religion. Faith is a very real process available to anyone, atheist, agnostic, Christian, Muslim, Jew, or YOU. What you chose to have faith 'in' is up to you...that you engage the activity of faith can be curative.

When you lose faith what remains; and empty shell, a vacant stare, a hopelessness? No, when you lose faith what remains is 'you'...the little you struggling for survival. When you lose faith in your dreams, in your happiness, in the goodness of your children, spouse, parents, co-workers, friends and especially in yourself, what remains, is your hard scrabble life of bickering, misunderstanding, anger, hurt, victim hood and grief.

Faith is the mental process, available to your Authentic Self, that allows YOU to see past the transient upsets, dislikes, and fear based reactions of yourself and others. Faith will allow you to lose weight, or break an addiction, or heal a relationship, or overcome emotional distress or surrender your desperation. Faith will allow you to 'heal' your dis-ease.

If you ask 'faith in what' you have missed the point. Faith is the authentic experience of wholeness, peace, acceptance and possibilities in the here and NOW. Surrender is the path to faith and the path to release from the grind of daily worries, failures, and unhappiness that dot the lives of too many of us.

When you can say, "I do not know how this will work out; I do not know how I will accomplish this; I do not know how to correct this; I do not know how to be at peace with this...and I have faith that my 'knowing how' is not important...", YOU have taken the first step in your journey of achieving true success and happiness. When you cease to manage and manipulate your life and those around you, you give space for your Authentic spirit to emerge and new experiences to present themselves.

If you remain stuck in survival, no matter what the issue is, you will never truly be happy. If you have faith, that 'this too shall pass' and that 'your life is perfect right now', you begin to open the door to real freedom of experience. When you see the patterns of unhappiness and dissatisfaction in your life as a reflection of your own fear; and you can allow for your faith in the possibilities of things being both exactly as they are, AND truly different, you are on the path to a new adventure.

Faith defies your survival logic. Faith defies your urges and NEEDS. Faith defies your certainty and self righteousness. Faith is the experience of loving the ones you're with and surrendering to the light of your essential goodness...right NOW...until next time, I remain...Respectfully Yours, Larry

A Thought for Today: 'you' is in pain and needs to fight or run...cherish that and remember it is not YOU that is trapped in the struggle. YOU are okay, YOU are able and capable and whole and have survived...when 'you' is ready, YOU will emerge...your love will make it so.

An Action you can Take...Stop, relax, listen to the sounds around you...breathe, open yourself up to your emotions...notice, allow, embrace your fear, pain and loss by knowing it is in the past and your present is NOW and 'you' is safe. Let the fear and pain be and focus on your breath...the subtle sounds...the smells, and sensations of your body...notice that YOU are not any of these things...YOU are the essence that is experiencing them all.




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Blindness is not simply a matter of Eyesight

With what do you struggle? Are you unhappy with your self; weight, job, habits, addiction, emotions...what? Are your relationships less than fulfilling, or are your kids not doing what they should? Do you struggle with money, or sex? What is keeping you from really living the life you always hoped and dreamed was possible--could it be blindness?

Yes, not only could it be, it probably is! Humans (that means you and me) have a special part of their brain that allows them to act in the face of pain, fear and loss. This level of consciousness creates enormous blind spots for people trying to navigate today's modern world. If you are struggling with any chronically unresolved issue...you too, have a gaping blind spot that is keeping you struck in this unresolved, repetitious, life script.

If you are finally tired of beating your head against the wall you might consider getting some assistance in 'seeing' where your blind spots are and releasing back into your Authentic Self.

If your consciousness is spinning the same old stories you need an assist from a consciousness that is not bogged down in the same script. That means getting a life coach who is capable of stepping far enough back to 'see' what it is that your auto/protector doesn't want you or anyone else to see...BUT, (and here comes the hard part) you have to be willing to empower your coach to look in those corners and you have to be willing to relinquish your fight/flight/freeze control enough for your coach to do his/her job.

That's where, "are you tired enough" comes in...Are you tired enough of your 'racket' to take the definitive step to let it go? You are not the victim, you are not helpless, you are not hopeless, you are not at your wits end and you are not incapable of solving ANY of the issues facing you...but you are stuck in fight/flight/freeze consciousness and you will need to let the light of another human 'Authentic Consciousness' shine in that darkness.

Find a Life Coach today and begin to unravel the string that is so tightly wound around the struggle you call 'your life'. Love the ones you're with and let the good times role...Until next time...I remain, respectfully Yours, Larry

A Thought for Today: Struggle and stress are sometimes useful, but they are never chronically useful.

An Action YOU can Take...The next time you are faced with a familiar upset/irritation...stop, breathe and then say, " Help, I need a new story to deal with this situation." Say it to yourself if it's about your self image, or your spouse, child, boss, friend, or whomever...say it and mean it and ask for their input (or guidance from your inner guide)...see if you get a new perspective...you might be surprised.




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